John From Cincinnati

Episode 4

Click for the trailer

(Open at the military radio transmitter site. We see John studying the facility from a distance. John is alone. Suddenly he is much closer to the site, then once again farther away.)

(Cut to a street in front of a grocery store, we see Palaka pushing a shopping cart across the street, which appears to be loaded with beach chairs and sundry items. A horn honks, tires screech as a car avoids Palaka)

Palaka: Hey, whatta ya doin’? Fucking homicidal prick!

(Cut to a sidewalk coffee shop, we see Dr Smith sitting with the morning newspaper as he is approached by a man in a suit. In the background we can still hear Palaka screaming at the car)

Lewinsky: Mark Lewinski, doctor. We met at the Ronald McDonald thing for the kids last year.

Smith: Oh, yes.

Lewinski: (Pointing to the paper, we see the headline: “Miracle Boy!”.) Good copy in the morning paper does not necessarily mean uninterrupted sleep for the hospital’s liability attorney.

Smith: Would you like me to prescribe some barbiturates?

Lewinski: (pauses) What I would like from you sir, what the hospital very much would like, is some sort of accounting as to how a patient could be admitted with a flatline E.E.G., be oxygen-deprived for 27 minutes, be worked up for a C2 fracture then exit the side door of our hospital within 2 hours.

Smith: I believe he left piggy-back.

Lewinski: Levity doctor?

Smith: This family is not going to sue.

Lewinski: “Miracle Boy” does undercut pain and suffering.

Smith: The hospital has a public relations problem, this should alleviate it. (hands Lewinski an envelope. Lewinski opens it and begins reading) "In resigning, I acknowledge misreading the Yost boy’s tests, which on recognizing my mistake, I destroyed."

Lewinski: Well, that’s very forthcoming. “Inhuman hours, incessant overwork”?

Smith: Put that in a “P.S.” (Smith gets up, looks around a bit then starts to wander off. Lewinki watches him with apparent confusion)

(Cut back to John at the same facility, looking at it from a distance. )

(Cut to the Yost house. Cissy is standing in the kitchen as Butchie comes in from the living room, wrapped in a blanket)

Butchie: Surfing ….. Shaunie?

Cissy: (chuckleing) A slow day yesterday. (They stand and study each other for a bit, then Butchie starts to leave)

Butchie: I’m gonna go look for that nut, that guy, for my friend John. Over the back fence, fucking reporters are having breakfast outside.

(Cut to Cass’ hotel room, Cass and Mitch are in bed together)

Mitch: Sometimes to save what you love, you have to be willing to lose it. It’s like surfing, if you do it for the wrong reasons..for the points, it’s just a dead game. (Mitch grimaces and shifts around)

Cass: Oh, your poor leg!

Mitch: Ah, last night’s as bad as it’s gonna get. Get some herbs, make up a poultice and pffft! (He turns to her and runs his hand up her torso) You feel that? The way the heat flows just like chakra to chakra. (lays his hand on her face) You see the colors? (She rolls away from him, we see her face and she is not happy)

(Cut to Kai’s trailer, she is arising from bed and looking around)

Kai: John? Are you dumpin’ out? (Gets up, looks in bathroom….no John. Opens the front door and calls out) John? (She hurries to put her clothes on)

(Cut to a street where we see John walking as a van pulls up beside him. There’s 3 guys in the van, we see them exchange words with John, then open the side door and John gets in.)

(Cut back to Cass’ hotel room, she is in the bathroom alone as Mitch calls to her from the other room)

Mitch: Cass, are you in there?

Cass: No, it’s Amelia Earhart.

Mitch: Could you come out here?

Cass: What?

Mitch: Ahh…it’s important. (She opens the bathroom door and steps out to see Mitch levitating in the center of the room. He slowly floats up to the ceiling, then gently pushes himself down again. Cass looks surprised and frightened.)

(Cut to the Snug Harbor as Dr Smith is walking into the parking area. He looks around. Freddy and Palaka are sitting in some lawn chairs taking the sun. )

Palaka: (imitating Freddy) “Is two days off a crime? Do I ever get to fucking relax?” That was you, boss, in your sleep during the night.

Freddy: I don’t talk in my sleep!! (Palaka spies Dr Smith, who is approaching Barry and Dicksten across the parking area.)

Palaka: Physician. It’s that physician. (We see Smith being directed across the way)

(Cut to Butchie’s motel room. Ramon is scrubbing the stove as Dr Smith knocks on the door)

Smith: Hello? Hello! (Steps inside) Ahh… I’m lookin’ for Butchie Yost. The gentleman across the way pointed out the room to me. I hope you don’t mind I’ve come in.

Ramon: You didn’t read the paper this morning? That family had a miracle last night.

Smith: At the hospital. I was Shaun Yost’s doctor.

Ramon: (Reaching to shake Smith’s hand, he realizes he has on rubber gloves) Oh, I’m sorry, itchy. (taking off gloves and shaking Smith’s hand) I’m careful with germs. I smelled smoke, thought maybe it was the stove. You, you wanna stay or something? You could, you know, uh, wait for Butchie. I’ll take my tools and you can … yeah. (Picking up his cleaning stuff and leaving)

Smith: OK … sure …wait.

(Cut to Linc’s very fancy hotel room, Linc is talking to Cass)

Linc: In other words, you wanna talk about all this strange shit that’s going on? You’re an expert in that field? That is what I brought you on for?

Cass: OK, Linc, I get it.

Linc: If you got it, you’d still be in that room with him.

Cass: He went out to get a poultice for his knee.

Linc: You should be embarrassed to have to tell me that.

Cass: Fuck you. (getting up to leave) Fuck you.

Linc: The correct answer would be, “While you, Linc, are signing Cissy, I’m going to try to sell him on moving out of his house for good.” (She leaves)

(Cut to the van with John and 3 guys in it. One of the guys hands John a can of beer)

Guy 2: Share and share alike. Right Carnal?

John: Right Carnal.

Guy 3: (In back with John) That’s how we do it in I.B. (The van is pulling into a nursery of some kind, or orchard. As the van passes a guy who’s raking, the driver makes a sign for that guy to keep an eye out. As the van pulls further into the nursery, it pulls over and stops. Guy 1, who is driving, speaks to John)

Guy 1: So, John from Cincinnati, it’s time to chip in. We’ve done our last beer, gas too. (John is exchanging looks with Guy 3 who is getting pissed off at John)

Guy 3: How about I fuck you up, Joto?

John: How about I fuck you up?

Guy 1: You being funny? (Guy 3 takes a big swing and hits John hard on the jaw, which seems to have no effect.) Just get his pinche wallet man. (As guy 3 is slugging John again, Guy 1 is pulling out a switchblade and showing it to John) You think this is a joke cabron?

John: I think this is a joke.

Guy 1: (Turning around to John) I’ll cut your fucking heart out

John: Cut my fucking heart out.

Guy 1: You don’t think I’ll cut you? I’ll show you your heart while you die.

John: Show me my heart.

Guy 1: You ready to look, you fuck?

John: I’m ready.

Guy 1: Fuck you. (He starts stabbing John, several times) Fuck you! Fuck ! (John falls to the floor of the van, looking up at the guy.) You stare me down? You stare me down! I ain’t afraid to be the last you see.

Guy 2: Cold shot mano.

Guy 3: You did what you had to do, carnal.

Guy 1: Get this fuck out of my ride.

(Cut to Butchie’s room where Smith is still waiting. Kai walks in the door.)

Kai: Hey Doc!

Smith: How are you?

Kai: That guy’s lost … that I was with at the hospital? I though maybe he’d be here with Butchie.

Smith: Butchie’s not here either.

Kai: Things slow at the hospital?

Smith: I’ve resigned.

Kai: Whoa… If you see Butchie will you tell him I’m looking for John?

Smith: (nodding) I’m gonna check on Shaun in just a bit. (Kai leaves)

(Cut to the Yost house. Cissy is trying on a disguise consisting of a hat and glasses, checking herself in a mirror as Linc walks in)

Linc: Good idea, Cissy.

Cissy: Shaunie’s surfing. With Jojo and his other friends.

Linc: Out with the groms like yesterday never even happened.

Cissy: You got something you need me to sign, Linc?

Linc: Today isn’t yesterday, Cissy, and I’m not clear on what the new rules are, but I know the old ones have been canceled.

Cissy: Hmm, and you find time to come by and tell me.

Linc: Do you know everything that you need to know, dressed up like Michael Jackson while your boy’s in the water with 50 ass-holes pointing a camera at him? Works for me. Of course, all those other kids in the water with Shaun, I’ve signed them already.

Cissy: And I need you, right Linc? Your steadying hand?

Linc: Where’s Mitch?

Cissy: My money would be, even seeing Shaun last night didn’t convert you from the kind of asshole only asks questions he knows the answer to. (She starts for the door) You wanna help? Stay … do the dishes. (She leaves. He looks around a bit, then goes to the sink and starts to do the dishes)

(Cut to the surf shop, Kai is sitting alone as Butchie enters)

Kai: Shit.

Butchie: What?

Kai: I thought John would be with you.

Butchie: Well give me a fuckin’ break, Kai.

Kai: Well, he must’ve wandered off when I was sleeping. I looked for him at your motel.

Butchie: Well I spent the night at my mom’s house. He could be anywhere in the fuckin’ world by now.

Kai: Don't stop there.

Butchie: Well did he freak out about boning you?

Kai: He doesn’t even know what boning means. Maybe I’d have wound up showing him, except my pussy overheated like it was cooking on a George Forman grill. My tits too, like they were in a blast furnace.

Butchie: You got hardware in your box.

Kai: So?

Butchie: Your nipple rings. My implants were overheating too, Kai, as you know, that’s why my head was going up in smoke. FUCK!

Kai: It was! We were in my trailer figuring out he was a virgin, and John says: “See god Kai”. Just like that. And then I went into some hallucinatory state. And there was smoke coming our of your head.

Butchie: Fuck! Do you wanna go looking for him with me?

Kai: Yeah, I’ll go with you.

Butchie: Alright, let’s check out the pier.

Kai: You know, for not knowing what the word meant, I wonder how John got the idea to bone me?

Butchie: I was trying to tell him that he picked a nice person to like.

(Cut to Bill’s house, bill is alone and just bringing in the morning paper and reads the headline)

Bill: Look at this, Zip. This fills me with misgivings …Bandying words like “miracle” in the newspaper headline. This can only attract new types of shitheel into that boy’s life. Which wasn’t short of shitheels before. We’re going to keep our distance. I’m informing you of that right now! We’re not going to jockey for attention or be looked at as a nuisance like I saw last night in Shaun’s grandmother’s eyes when I was over at that house. Or stand in the street, amongst mopes like that Hawaiian and his belt-high sidekick. Or the soup brigade from that motel. (Bill is re-arranging the bubble-wrap padding on the spiral stairs) I have plently of tasks and chores within this house that I’ve been derelict attending to that will more than occupy our time. (He grabs some duct tape to secure the bubble-wrap and tears it with his teeth. The piece of tape sticks to his lower lip) Now there, that’s it. That’s the doomsday scenario. (Grabbing the tape to pull it off his lip) May this pain come to Clinton for disgracing the oval office. (rips the tape off quickly) Oh, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ. (A long pause and sigh) That will never happen again. A sequence of events so complicated, that Butchie Yost at the age of 10 could help the only woman in the world that when I pass a remark about some airhead pisspot that I collar, she has the sweetness to recall, “I wonder if it’s that Yost boy who used to help me with my groceries?” I throw him a break because of my darling Lois, keep one eye out after, since I un-loosed him in society… That that – lookin’ out for Butchie – would later cross my path with Shaun when Butchie became a junkie dumpster tenant. Now who in his right mind would believe that that sequence of events could be repeated? That boy is gone from us. (Turns and looks up the spiral stairs) And I don’t regret one thing! Children or not, the time I spent with you… was the joy of my life.

(Cut to the pier, where Butchie and Kai are questioning 3 young boys)

Butchie: I’ve got a favor guys, I’m looking for a buddy of mine. We lost our friend. He’s about yay tall, collar up like this, walks around: “What do you want Butchie Yost?” Have you seen a guy looks like that around here? (boys shake their heads – no) No? Alright well if you do, I want you to tell this lady right here. Can you do that? Nice. All right, give me a pound. (knocks fists with all three) Boom, boom, boom. Mario brothers! I got the high score on that. (he and Kai walk away)

The first place he asked me what I wanted, right there. “What do you want, Butchie Yost”

Kai: Should we put up a plaque? (As they walk down the pier, they take turns gently kicking each other in the butt)

(Cut to the Yost house. Linc is still there alone. He appears to be going through the family’s photos and mementos. Dr Smith walks in, Linc pretends to be cleaning a photo)

Smith: Hello.

Linc: Shaun’s surfing. Mrs. Yost’s at work.

Smith: And you’re pitching in, cleaning house.

Linc: What, is this a restricted area?

Smith: Well that…that wouldn’t be for me to say. (Linc turns and looks at Smith, Smith approaches him with his hand out) Michael Smith. (they shake)

Linc: Linc Stark. We ah, didn’t introduce ourselves at the hospital … when you were throwing me off the floor.

Smith: Well, that was for me to say.

Linc: People need room to do their jobs. Of course, your job’s over now though. Am I right? Unless you get sued? Negligent oversight, incompetent evaluation, emotionally damaging for the family.

Smith: I’m not here to protect my ass.

Linc: That’s a plus for the Yosts. Now that Shaunie’s out of the woods, they’ve got new hills to climb. They don’t have time for hangers-on and losers making the trip any tougher.
Smith: Are you related to the Yosts?

Linc: Not by blood.

Smith: Maybe you just smell it in the water.

Linc: Will that make me dangerous?

Smith: To whatever got Shaun well? I wouldn’t think so, no. Which does it make me, Linc? A loser or a hanger-on if I believe a miracle might have got him well?

Linc: It makes you a fanatic.

Smith: Oh. (leaving) Tell Mrs. Yost and Shaun I stopped by.

Linc: Absolutely.

(Cut to the surf shop. Cissy is minding the store. Shaun and a few boys are watching a surf video in the store while a couple guys are snooping around)

Cissy: What are you looking for?

Guy: I’m looking for a wetsuit.

Cissy: (nodding to a corner) Full suits, shorties, 2-mils, 3.2’s.

Guy: Thanks.

Boy 1: (watching the video) Sick!

Boy 2: Yost totally surfs faster than Fanning.

Boy 1: Dude, my grandmother surfs faster than Fanning, and she died last year.

Boy 2: So what? Yost died yesterday.

Cissy: (She’s been watching the 2 strangers in the shop, then addresses one of them) Who’s that wetsuit for?

Guy: It’s for me. (He’s looking at the women’s suits)

Cissy: Hmm. Surfing in drag is a little rough on your nuts.

Guy: No, she asked me to look for one for her too – my girlfriend.

Cissy: (Making the hand motions for jerking off) Is that what you call your hand – your girlfriend? I guess it’s a slow day for train wrecks, right? You pieces of shit. You fucking newspaper assholes. (She grabs a camera from the 2^nd guy and struggles with him)

Guy 2: That’s my camera lady!

Cissy: I’ll give you your camera and you take it outside.

Guy: (on his way out) How are you feeling, Shaun? How’s your neck?

Shaun: Get outta here, you piece of shit!

Cissy: (Kicking at the guy) Fuck out! Get the fuck out!

Boy 1: Ohh, miracle boy said “shit”.

Shaun: (slaps at boy 1) You get the hell out of here too. Look at the mess you made.

Boy 1: What’d I do? (The boys all file out)

Shaun: Stupid fuckers.

Cissy: Hey.

(Cut to an arroyo out in the brush somewhere. We see John, laying prostrate on the ground with blood on his jacket and shirt. Vietnam Joe is approaching and sees John.)

Joe: Oh fuck me! (rushes to John’s side) Jesus, what happened? (looks John over a bit) It’s not that bad. I’m going to get you some help. I’m going to my truck. It’s just up here. It’s, it’s not just up here, but I’ll be back in just a minute. I, I promise I’ll be back for you. (John is hurt, struggles a bit and manages a smile for Joe)

(Cut to Bill’s house as Bill goes to answer the door)

Bill: (Yelling to the door) Hey I’m in my underwear and I don’t want any magazines.

Butchie: It’s me Bill!

Bill: That’s Butchie! (opening the door) You in trouble?

Butchie: No!

Bill: Well my testicles are on display to the neighborhood. Get in here! (Butchie and Kai come in)

Butchie: Uh, that guy John is missing. My surf student from Cincinnati.

Bill: Where’s your son?

Butchie: He was surfing with Sammy and them, my mom said this morning. (Kai grabs her cellphone and starts dialing.

Bill: In relation to that guy gone missing, when’s the last time you saw Shaun?

Butchie: Last night.

Kai: (On the phone) It’s Kai, Cissy. If you haven’t noticed, I’m late for work. I hear Shaunie got wet this morning, he get any good ones?

Bill: She’s got a couple of brains, what’s she doing with you?

Kai: (giving them a thumbs up sign) Anyways, I’m helping Butchie look for his loopy friend.

Butchie: At the shop, Shaunie? (Kai nods yes)

Bill: Not abducted, that was my concern. Now this John who is missing, and not a pervert, what do you know about him?

Butchie: Well he’s got a credit card with his name on it.

Kai: Yeah, John Monad.

Bill: (dressing in the next room) You found no occasion to garner further information from other ID? (Kai is motioning to Butchie about the padded spiral staircase. Butchie points upstairs and mouths “wife” and makes the "throat-slashed” motion for “dead”. Then he points to the padded stair and pretends to bang his head against it.

Butchie: Uh, well I asked him straight out for it Bill, and he says: “I don’t know Butchie instead”.

Bill: Well that would raise the question of mental health. (comes back into the room)

Kai: Should we notify the cops he’s lost?

Bill: Huh? You got a photograph?

Butchie: Uuhhhhh, no.

Bill: Anyways, they won’t list him for 24 hours. I’ll give them an informal heads-upping. Not that they pay attention to me anyway.

Butchie: OK. Well thanks Bill.

Bill: It’s his attitude anyways. He’s going to end up on the wrong end of a nightstick. (mimicking John) “I got my eye on you!”.

Kai: See ya Bill.

Bill: Whoa!. What’s your goddamn hurry?

Butchie: We gotta go look for John!

Bill: Well what do I look like, an information booth, bolted to the floor? Am I a recent amputee?

Butchie: Do you want to go look with us?

Bill: How’s that going to augment the effectiveness? We divide the community into quadrants!

Butchie: Good, great. (to Kai) That way Bill can’t hear us!

Bill: Sarcastic. That’s how he got so successful. (to the birds) OK, going out to help these two! Something new every day!

(Cut to Cass’ hotel room, she is entering to find Mitch waiting for her.)

Mitch: Closed!

Cass: The Alternative Apac-a-thary?

Mitch: Apothecary. And they’re pretty casual about their business hours. What do you think about … my levitation?

Cass: I don’t know what to think .. like always.

Mitch: Well you feel, over the years, I don’t know, like, that maybe something about you is special. And you assume, I guess, that the thing that’s special has to do with what you’re good at.

Cass: Surfing.

Mitch: And now, maybe it turns out I go up in the air, Shaun heals, and maybe all along this feeling of being special wasn’t about athletics or years of spiritual discipline. Maybe it’s about family.

Cass: Do you wanna stay here, Mitch?

Mitch: Do you, you see what I’m saying?

Cass: Ya

Mitch: Right

Cass: I do.

Mitch: I go up in the air…

Cass: Shaunie heals. Yeah I know.

Mitch: And the joker in the deck is this .. ah … John.

Cass: Butchie’s friend.

Mitch: What’s his connection to the family. (pause) Cause whenever I see him he looks at me like he knows something about me that I haven’t even known myself.

Cass: He sure is an amazing surfer.

Mitch: How would you know that?

Cass: Oh … don’t get a restraining order or anything, but I have been watching you. A couple of days ago?

Mitch: Oh, yeah, when you were watching me. Maybe it is about how I surf. And Shaun being my grandson. I, I’d like to stay here, I think. I mean … just till we get this all kind of … figured out. I don’t mean, you know, every single night?

Cass: I wonder if … the store’s open yet? Where you get your poultice?

(Cut to the pier. We see Dr Smith sitting alone looking around. He picks up a bicycle and starts to leave)

(Cut to Joe’s van, as he’s driving John into town. John is sitting up, but appears to be a little out of it)

Joe: Eh, I’m sorry about the bumps. I’m sorry, I can’t help. (Joe is almost frantic, he’s looking over at John, very worried)

John: Pull over, Joe. Joe, pull over. (Joe quickly pulls over. John takes Joe’s hand and places it on his side, over his wound) You can help. (Joe looks at John incredulously)

(Cut to Cass’ hotel room, she is alone. She sits on the bed, appears upset. She slowly sinks to the floor, looking around and getting more upset. Suddenly we see what appears to be her “vision” of the scene where John was found by Joe. Next she/we see Joe’s van, and the image of John laying on the ground, then an image of John at the radio transmitter. Next we see John putting Joe’s hand on his wound, and images of the Snug Harbor Motel. Suddenly she gets up, grabs her things, and heads out of the room.)

(Cut to a street, where we see Dr Smith, on foot now, walking past a small house where a woman is pruning some roses.)

Woman: Good afternoon.

Smith: Uh … hello. Um, um … beautiful roses.

Woman: Uh, you want a catalog? (She speaks with an accent, this sounds like “Cadillac”)

Smith: A Cadillac?

Woman: Yes.

Smith: Sometimes I’ve …(Now he notices that she has a sign in her window that says: “Avon sold here”) Oh, a catalog.

Woman: Yes.

Smith: Yes, of course, I would … thank you. (She hand him her pruning shears and goes inside, then returns with the Avon catalog.) Is this the way to the Snug Harbor Motel?

Woman: Yes.

Smith: That’s where I’m going. Gonna look in on Butchie Yost. I’m a physician, he has some festering implants. Thank you for this, um, I’ll fill this out. I’m sure there’s some wonderful products in here. Those are beautiful roses.

Woman: Thank you.

Cut to Butchie’s room at the motel as he and Kai enter.)

Butchie: I guess I’ll wait here.

Kai: If he calls by the surf shop, I’ll call you right away.

Butchie: Uh, y – you’re gonna go over there, huh?

Kai: Only 6 hours late to work.

Butchie: Oh no, good, Cus – you know, in case he shows up. You know, I’ll catch you later. Thanks for walking with me. (He steps up to her and gives her a little kiss on the cheek)

Kai: (laughing) Well, thanks for the peck!

Butchie: I know, right, what the fuck was that about? (Kai hesitates, then jumps on Butchie and starts kissing him hard.)

(Cut to the Snug Harbor parking lot, we see Ramon sweeping as Dickstein drives into the lot.)

Ramon: Abogado Dickstein!

Dickstein: How are things Ramon? What’s going on in the world?

Ramon: Butchie’s in his place with that blond. Previously they were looking for his surf student. Then the Hawaiians over there are working on their tan.

Dickstein: Some day yesterday.

Ramon: And how.

Dickstein: Yesterday was a 3-ring circus. (We see Smith walking into the parking lot, and we see Freddy and Palaka working on their tans. Palaka notices Smith)

Palaka: Here’s that physician. The physician. (Smith approaches Ramon and Dickstein)

Ramon: Forget something doc?

Smith: I left my dignity. (laughs) I was wondering if Butchie had come back.

Ramon: He got company now … young lady.

Smith: Ahhh… (Palaka leaves Freddy and walks over to Smith. At the same time, Barry drives into the lot and honks)

Ramon: El jefe.

Barry: (As he is parking) Good day!

Dickstein: Mr. Cunningham the new owner of the motel.

Smith: Ahhh…that’s…uh, as I risk repeating. (Palaka coughs)

Palaka: Doc, how are you? (Smith walks away to intercept Palaka as Barry approaches Ramon)

Barry: Good afternoon, Good Afternoon! I’d like for us all to work together. And I’ve blurted it out. And I’m glad.

(Cut to Palaka and Smith)

Palaka: Name’s Palaka, Doc. No reason that you’d realize, but last night you were talking to Butchie, I was under that half-pipe.

Smith: (Looking at Palaka’s duct-tape-wrapped-wrist) You want me to examine your wrist?

Palaka: Oh! Do you do, uh, informal diagnosises? (Holds out his arm and Smith takes it. Freddy watches this from a distance, then turns and sees Bill’s truck driving into the lot.

(Cut to Ramon and Barry and Dickstein)

Ramon: I thought you already employed us?

Barry: Let’s consider we’re permanently associated. Oh, is that too overtly gay? (Ramon looks sideways at Dickstein)

Dickstein: What association do you envision?

Barry: Oh, a working business partnership. I’m referring to the phrasing of the offer.

(Bill pulls up and parks, gets out and looks at Butchie’s room, then walks over to Freddy)

Bill: (pointing to Butchie’s room) Butchie Yost.

Freddy: In his room.

Bill: Apprising him on the results of a search. … No cell phone. I suppose you gotta explain that these days.

Freddy: I could give less of a shit. (Bill turns to go to Butchie’s room) He’s with that strange-haired girl.

Bill: Doing what?

Freddy: How the fuck would I know? (Bill walks off to Butchie’s room)

(Cut back to Smith and Palaka)

Palaka: Earache … ringing …

Smith: Getting back to the wrist, you really should have this x-rayed and set.

Palaka: Well, I should file tax returns too, doc. The government, all these years…

(A horn honks, we see Vietnam Joe’s van pull in and drive past Bill)

Bill: What is this nonsense now? (Joe pulls in and parks near to Smith. Smith excuses himself with Palaka and walks over to the van. Joe is getting out and looks at Smith)

Joe: I fuckin’ touched him and he fuckin’ healed.

Smith: I’m a physician, what’s the problem?

Joe: No problem, medic, let him make a fool out of you. (He starts to help John out of the van)

Smith: Don’t move him! (Seeing John is covered in blood)

Joe: He ain’t fuckin’ hurt.

John: You helped me Joe.

Joe: Now, you keep mouthing off like that, frat boy, a-a-and I’m liable to knock you out! (Smith is bending over, examining John)

Smith: Do you feel any pain?

John: I don’t feel any pain.

Joe: It’s bullshit, right?

Smith: It’s a healed wound with fresh blood. I don’t know what it is…

Joe: Phonied-up gag.

Bill: Watching from a distance) It’s a bunch of goddamn nonsense. (Walks to Butchie’s room)

Smith: Well … whatever’s happened, you seem to be alright now. (Helps John to his feet)

Joe: Well I guess it’s time to identify which warped rear-echelon asshole at the V.F.W. bar where I drink thought something I confided about events in-country was worth abuse for the sake of a fucking chuckle!

John: You didn’t leave me behind, Joe. (This enrages Joe, he grabs John by the collar)

Joe: Now you listen to me, frat-boy. You’re gonna tell me who it was, and then I am jumping in that van and driving to that gin mill, and I am gonna do some damage!

John: Tomorrow is another day. (They stare at each other for a while)

Joe: I’m undertaking inquiries tomorrow! You can guarantee that goddamn much! (Joe gets in his van and leaves as Smith takes John by the arm and leads him away)

(Cut to Butchie’s room, we see that he and Kai are still standing in the middle of the room making out. Butchie suddenly pushes her away )

Butchie: Oh, god, I’m sorry Kai. But I haven’t been high in 3 days. I’ll get hard over mud.

Kai: Butchie…

Butchie: what?

Kai: Let’s go to my place. (He looks over to his bed)

Butchie: Anything could be growing in those sheets. (Knock on the door)

Bill: Bill Jacks!

Butchie: Coming, Bill! We just completed our quadrants. (opens door, Bill steps in)

Bill: Safe … “I got my eye on you”

Butchie: Great.

Kai: Where was he?

Bill: My god, you have an erection! (turns to walk out) He’s right out side, Jesus Christ!

Butchie: I wanna bring down the hammer back at your place.

Kai: What if it’s now or never?

Butchie: We’ll go see how he’s doing.

Kai: Yeah, maybe he’s having fun with whoever he’s with.

Butchie: Um let me just - a – fix this unsightly bulge.

(Cut back to the parking lot, we see Smith and John watching Bill walk back over to Freddy)

Bill: So every collar you took in Hawaii there, that smart mouth buy you a beating?

Freddy: Nuh-uh, you boys were too eager to earn.

(Smith and John watching from a distance)

John: Bill’s not Freddy’s first Bill.

Bill: See I was never that type.

Freddy: That’s how you got your Rolls Royce.

Bill: Stay with the truck, I’m free to beat humps like you.

John: Freddy’s not Bill’s first Freddy. (Bill gets in his truck to leave. We see John spin around to face Butchie’s door, and Smith imitates him as Butchie and Kai exit Butchie’s room.) You’re in the right place, doc.

Smith: (laughs) So you say.

John: Tomorrow is another day.

Smith: I suppose I could take tonight to fill out this catalog.

John: Put that in a P.S.!

Butchie: What the hell happened to you Monad?

Smith: He’s alright.

Kai: Well his clothes are sure fucked up!

John: (imitating) That’s how we do it in I.B. (Bill is driving by, John looks at him) I got my eye on you, Bill!

(As Bill drives by Ramon, Diskstein and Barry)

Ramon: We got all three rings working now!

(As Bill drives out, we see Cass driving in in her Porsche)

Butchie: Check out the Porsche.

Kai: That chick works for Linc. She was looking to slap it on your dad. (Cass pulls up and stops next to them)

John: Cass needs a place to work. (John turns and walks over to get into Cass’ car.)

Butchie: What the fuck!?

Kai: Is she slapping it on him too?

Butchie: Look at my man John! Styling and profiling baby! (John gets in the car, reaches over and strokes Cass’ cheek. )

Smith: I guess I’ll say goodbye.

Butchie: OK, doc.

Smith: How’s the implants?

Butchie: Yeah, good. No heat or smoke all day.

Ramon: We got a position for a house physician?

John: (To Cass) Vroom-vroom! (She starts the car)

Smith: (to Palaka) I’ll stop by and see you tomorrow.

Palaka: Yeah, I’ll spend the might hoping somebody don’t cut in front of me.

John: (As Smith is walking away) Butchie wants to bring down the hammer. (Butchie and Kai look at each other)

Kai: Do you mind, John?

John: I do mind.

Butchie: Nah, he doesn’t mean it.

John: Get rid of the unsightly bulge. (Cass drives out of the lot)

Butchie: The Yost surfing school: 24 hours I will have you in the water or in to pussy.

(Cut to Cass’ hotel room. Mitch is sitting alone as Cass enters, he grabs a book as she walks in)

Mitch: The alternative Apothecary has this lending library. Light reading.

Cass: Sweet.

Mitch: (Reading the book title) “Levitation for the illuminated”

Cass: But… You know, I don’t think you should stay here.

Mitch: (pauses, surprised) Sure… why? (Cass turns and opens the door and leads John into the room)

Cass: He needs a place to stay. (Mitch is looking at John’s bloody clothes) He’s alright.

Mitch: Yeah, he looks great.

Cass: (To John) I’ll be right back. (She leaves the room)

Mitch: The joker in the deck.

John: (Pointing to his “wound”) I’d better have a good health plan.

Mitch: (Packing his bag) Do you need to stand aside for me to pass, or are you just gonna part, like the red sea? (John steps aside and leans against the wall.)

(Cut to Kai’s trailer as she and Butchie enter. She goes to her stereo to put on some music)

Kai: I’ll spare you the candles, but you can’t say the music blows.

Butchie: Deal.

Kai: And no fucking laughing, Butchie. (Peter Gabriel starts playing)

Butchie: Come on, Kai. (pauses to listen to the music) Was this playing the first time I threw up on you?

Kai: Playing at our junior prom.

Butchie: I missed our junior prom.

Kai: Yeah. And no freaking out about my piercings.

Butchie: You’re kidding, right? (pointing to his head)

Kai: Knowing about them is one thing, seein’ ‘ems different. No freaking out.

Butchie: (Lays down beside her on the bed) All my ladies set off the airport metal detectors, or they’re not my ladies long. And let me say this, with the compact metal detector right here in my tongue, I will find everywhere your metal may be hid.

Kai: Barry White’s in the house.

(Cut to Linc’s hotel room as he is answering the door to Cass)

Cass: I threw Mitch out.

Linc: Good thinking. (He shuts the door in her face, then turns and sighs, still standing by the door. We see Cass still standing outside his door. Linc shouts at her through the door) You know you’re fucking fired, right? I mean, you’re not that bone-fucking stupid to think I would keep you on the payroll. What guts! What honesty, what intelligence, without the vaguest idea of what is happening. Being sure, it means you need to be broke. (We see Cass turning and walking away while he is still talking through the door) A couple of strange things happen, you decide god’s taking over for Santa, deciding who’s naughty and nice. He’s firing up that coal log to burn the naughty in hell. (He grabs the door and opens it, stepping out in the hall to see she has gone)

(Cut to the Yost house back door as Mitch approaches and stands outside the door looking in. Cissy hears him and walks over, facing him through the door)

Mitch: Shall we try it again?

Cissy: (chuckles, shakes her head) Through the door? (He opens the door and steps inside)

(Cut to Cass’ room. She is re-arranging furniture to create a sort of barrier across the center of the room)

Cass: I’ll work over here, John. And then you’ll sleep over here while I sleep on the bed. Will you mind sleeping on the floor here? (John has a stack of folded towels that he’s using to add to the “barrier”)

John: See god, Kai.

Cass: “Cass”.

John: See god, Cass.

Cass: (pauses, perplexed) What do you mean?

John: Work over there.

(Cut to Bill’s living room as he talks to the birds)

Bill: Sweet enough look to his mug, “I got my eye on you”. When he restrains himself from running his mouth. (Bill has an apple, he motions to Zippy to keep it a secret from the other birds) Far as him being stabbed, I’m not doubting it could have been a hoax, I don’t subscribe it definitely was … (He’s slicing up the apple) being I and a bird of my acquaintance know a boy who survived fatal injury, following the bird’s own resurrection. Sole change from what I said to you previous, Zip: Last overlap between me and the Yosts, Butchie asking my help with that search. A P.S., my assistance. An end to the concluding chapter, and final completion and finish. (He’s handing some apple slices to Zippy. Suddenly he reacts to something he has “heard” coming from Zippy) That is senseless and offensive. I deal with that shitbird only to put him in bracelets. And I’m surprised you’d need me to say so. (We see Zippy bobbing on his perch, then squawks)

Is what you envision, relative to those people, I balance the Hawaiian’s bad influence? Well that, Zip, would outstrip by a full triple-somersault every previous unlikely set of circumstances. (He turns, grabs his jacket and leaves)

(Cut to the Snug Harbor parking lot, we see Freddy sitting in his deck chair, alone. Bill arrives in his truck, pulls in and parks next to Freddy. Bill gets out of the truck with an arm full of Winchell’s goods)

Freddy: Yeah, otherwise I’d have a moment’s peace to myself.

Bill: Cup of Joe…Winchell’s assorted dozen. (Sets the stuff down on the ground, then Bill stands there, fidgeting while Freddy tries to figure out what to say) Where’s the dwarf with the dangling arm?

Freddy: He’s in our shared bathroom.

Bill: I’m here on orders from my bird.

Freddy: (Looking at Bill incredulously) If you’re waiting for me to ask you what you’re talking about, plan on falling over dead before I do.

Bill: (Sitting down beside Freddy) My bird Zippy conveyed to me, despite the obvious dissimilarities between us, we become friends.

Freddy: He used the word “dissimilarities”?

Bill: He conveyed. He conveyed, I never said he spoke.

Freddy: Oh…

Bill: Not that what else he can do, he couldn’t speak if he wanted to, and do knitting to keep himself busy.

Freddy: Maybe he conveyed to make friends with a different Freddy, your telepathic bird.

Bill: You think that, you degenerate nitwit. Or is there a room of Freddys somewhere’s around here? (We see a car pulling up and parking near them) Is that a Mustang pull in here? (We see there’s a beautiful woman behind the wheel)

Freddy: Yeah, the make of the car is what I’m paying attention to. (They both stand up, she gets out of the car and walks over to them. We see she is indeed beautiful)

Woman: I’m looking for Butchie Yost?

Freddy: I’m him, if he don’t owe you money.

Bill: He’s not him. Butchie’s not here. (She sighs, looks around)

Freddy: You uh, care to leave a message? (She looks at him for a bit, rolls her eyes and walks back to the car. Freddy speaks out of her hearing) On my face? With your ass?

Bill: Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! (Car starts) What my bird was thinking to dispatch me to you, I haven’t the vaguest goddamn idea. (They sit down and watch her drive away. Freddy reaches and picks up a cup of the coffee Bill brought. They look at each other for a bit)

Freddy: I got a lizard back home, changes shapes.

Bill: Chameleons, they call them.

(We see them sitting silently in the night, fade to black)

Click for music from the credits.

Directed by: John McNaughton
Written by: Regina Corrado

Mitch Yost:  Bruce Greenwood Cissy Yost: Rebecca De Mornay Bill Jacks: Ed O'Neill Barry Cunningham: Matt Winston Linc Stark: Luke Perry Kai: Keala Kennelley Dr Michael Smith:  Garret Dillahunt Palaka: Paul Ben Victor Tina Blake: Chandra West	Butchie Yost: Brian Van Holt John Monad: Austin Nichols Ramon Gaviota: Luis Guzman Shaun Yost: Greyson Fletcher Meyer Dickstein: Willie Garson Vietnam Joe: Jim Beaver Cass:  Emily Rose Steady Freddy Lopez:  Dayton Callie
Transcript last updated on 07/09/2007
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