Episode 26: I Am Not The Fine Man You Take Me For

 

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(Open with Al in bed, late at night. He hears a voice from the street, a drunk is yelling: “I am not the fine man you take me for”. Cut to the street, we see the drunk climbing the stairs to the hustings. Cut to Al, he is starting to drift off to sleep again. Cut to the man as he starts delivering a speech from the platform. The street is deserted. The drunk is going on about his losses and misfortune in the camp.  Al is laying in bed and listening. Suddenly the drink pitches forward and falls off the platform into the mud, apparently sustaining serious injury.)

 

(Morning, Al awakens and goes to the window where he sees the body of the man in the street. Cut to Al, Dan and Johnny in the street with weapons drawn, trying to figure out why this body is lying in front of the Gem. Dan is shirtless and barefoot, Johnny is in his long-johns.)

 

Johnny:  It looks like he fell off the platform.

Dan:  It’s just a broke-neck hoople, Al.

Al:  That he posed us no threat was a judgment you come to me even if you snored.

Dan: Turns on watch Johnny, till this goddam Hearst business settles out.

Al: And not that we lack options, (looking at the body) like the sleep from which none awaken. (Johnny is walking away, and has the ass-flap open on his long-johns) Would you close your flap, that I don’t forgo my boiled eggs?

 

(Cut to Hearst, in his room. He is sketching something on paper. He folds the paper and seals it with wax, then hands it to Captain Turner.)

 

(Cut to the Bullock house. Seth and Martha are in the kitchen having morning tea.)

 

Martha: Do you believe the speeches will be delivered tonight?

Seth: The speeches, the elections are held hostage to the bidness of the camp…which is bloody…….murderous. (hesitates)  And you know, I don’t like this tea?

Martha: Is it too cool?

Seth: Too weak.

Martha: I do not make weak tea.

Seth: (Thinking better of his criticism, smiles) I aughten’t to tease. (laughs, looks to see if she bought it, she doesn’t) I like mine unusually strong.

Martha: You might have said, Seth, it’s an easy thing to fix.

Seth: You’re right

Martha: I’m not a mind-reader.

Seth: (perturbed) I’ve said it now.

Martha: (ironic) My goodness.(She gives him a look and turns to the sink. Seth follows her and places his hand on her neck, then slides it down her back)

 

(Alma’s bedroom, Doc is visiting)

 

Alma: How am I?

Doc: I could wish your symptoms further remitted.

Alma: I find your answer vague, Doctor, has your medicine dulled my faculties or do you wish to cloud your meaning?

Doc: You don’t do as well as I’d hoped.

Alma: Am I now losing my baby?

Doc: My opinion is, you will. And, your symptoms make it prudent to intervene. You’re pained at the stomach…

Alma: I – I’d laid that to … to your medicine slowing my digestion.

Doc: The spasm in the muscles of your belly doesn’t owe to slowed digestion. And while you are bleeding less, that you are bleeding at all, with pain in the abdomen, argues against further delay.

Alma: Have I time to see to certain arrangements?

Doc: May I begin to see to mine?

 

(Ellsworth living room, Sophia and Whitney are playing patty-cake as Doc descends the stairs. Doc gives Whitney a stern look and a shake of the head in the negative.)

 

Doc: I should be back in about an hour and a half’s time. (leaves)

Whitney: Put your school things together, little one.

 

(Cut to the Gem, Al, Dan and Silas are having coffee)

 

 

Dan: If we know Hearst is commin’ boss, why the fuck don’t we strike first?

Al: From the moment we leave the forest , Dan, it’s all a givin up and adjusting.

Dan: Across the thoroughfare to see to that cocksucker’s throat!

Al: We forgo the rock for the dagger, learn distraction’s use, and deception’s, before the dagger is employed.  Spirits, women, games of chance….

Dan: I’m older, and I’m much less friendly to fuckin’ change.

Al: Change ain’t lookin’ for friends. Change calls the tune we dance to.

 

(Capt. Turner darkens the door, which Al has his back to. Johnny and Dan stiffen and Dan heads to the door to meet him)

 

Al: Where are you goin?  (He turns and sees the Turner) Whiskey Captain?

 

(Turner hands him the paper from Hearst, turns and leaves without speaking. Al opens the note and stares at it)

 

 

(Cut to Tolliver’s room as Joanie enters)

 

Cy: Morning miss sunshine.

Joanie: (As she is picking up the dishes from his bedside) Morning Cy.

Cy: What can you tell a man at the margin of things, reasons for these cancelled speeches?

Joanie: I don’t know why they was cancelled.

Cy: You seem a little sour. Don’t think, lying here these weeks I ain’t had my dark moments. Thank god I took this book up again. (holding his bible)

Joanie: If it really brings you peace then I’m glad.

Cy: Hell yes it brings me peace, you doubt that?

Joanie: I try to believe.

Cy: You wanna read some with me honey?

Joanie: (paraphrasing Cy) “Same as you want to find a different way, then why couldn’t Cy?” ( She’s getting agitated, pacing)

Cy: Getting gut-stabed by a minister of god will bring you to examine your path.

Joanie: (sobbing) But I don’t! (Gasps) I had a gun to my ear at Shaunessey’s yesterday.

Cy: What the hell are your doin at Shaunessey’s?

Joanie: Stayin away from here.

Cy: You listen to me young lady. What brings a gun to the temple, is lack of gainful occupation and of bein useful to others. I don’t see upi trying to kill yourself here! All you do here is good, for the girls and for me too.

Joanie: (sobbing) I don’t wanna run women no more.

Cy: And that’s turning from your gift, and your training!

Joanie: When you speak, I feel like it’s the devil talkin’.

Cy: Ain’t that a lovely thing to hear yourself accused of?

(knock on door, Con enters)

Con: Excuse me Mr T, but fucking Lila’s in extremis.

Cy: Jesus Christ!

Con: Aught I get the Doc? Leon seems over his head.

(Joanie groans and walks out)

Cy: She’ll see to it.

(Con grunts and leaves)

Cy: (alone now) Try to stay afloat from the fucking sick bed, have to listen to something like that!

 

(Joanie is making her way through a crowded Bella union to the front door, she is crying. She encounters Leon on the front walk, who is trying to carry Lila. Lila appears to be over-dosed on dope)

 

Joanie: Get the fuck inside Leon! (She grabs Lila away from him) Before I take out my gun and kill you!

Leon: Joanie, this ain’t the way it looks!

Joanie: Get inside or get shot! (She’s struggling to keep Lila on her feet)

Leon: Well hold her up then! Got a long fuckin way to fall down!

Lila: (slurred) Let me die Joanie!

Joanie: Start walkin’ you lousy whore, start fuckin’ walkin’.

 

(Cut to the Chez Amie, Jane is leaving through the front door, Mose is in his chair on duty. Jane stands around him for a bit, then speaks)

 

Jane: Slept inside in case you wasn’t aware, Miss Stubbs request. Thought she’d try someone competent keepin’ watch. (Jane looks around, then grabs up watering can)

Mose: She’s off to the Bella Union.

Jane: I can’t worry about her right now, can you just help me lug in the fuckin’ water? I’m for the day off the bottle, and about to bathe.

Mose: (rising) Camp get up a petition?

 

(Gem Saloon, Dan and all are studying the diagram that Hearst sent over. Dan looks to Johnny and to Silas, both of whom just shrug)

 

Dan: I can sniff this all you want boss, but I ain’t got one fuckin’ scintilla of an idea what these marks mean.

Al: (nodding to the scetch) What if that’s the front door of our joint.

Johnny: That would make this line the bar.

Silas: What would that make the “x”s?

Al: Murderers?  (pauses, then to Silas) See to your task with the jew. (Silas shrugs and leaves)

 

(Chez Amie, Jane is lowering herself into a bath tub. Mose is hovering in the main room, pacing around the door to the “bathing room”)

 

Jane: A few fuckin’ things history proved. You sit still, you fuckin’ memorize,  you repeat back what you fuckin’ learned, or, choosing otherwise you display your knuckles to be struck fuckin’ bloody on the fuckin’ desk.

Mose: (through the door) That how you gonna start your talk to the children?

Jane: Shut the fuck up Mose. And don’t tease me at a crucial fuckin’ hour.

Mose: (after a pause) Can I listen?

Jane: (looking surprised for an second) From outside at your post near the shitter. (Mose turns to leave)

 

(Farnum’s private room. Richardson is tending to his wounds)

 

E.B.: Could you have been born Richardson? And not egg-hatched as I’ve always assumed? Did your mother hover over you, snaggle toothed and doting as you now hover over me?

Richardson: I loved my mother.

E.B. Puberty may bring you to understand, what we take for mother-love is really murderous hatred and a desire for revenge.

Richardson: Will you give your speech to be mayor tonight?

E.B.: Whatever night I give it, count on me not to mince words: “Electors of the camp, as to who should serve as mayor, reasonable men may differ. But as to who should be sheriff we all aught speak with one voice, and our words should be – turn out the maniac Bullock who set upon the mayor unprovoked, who beat him with merciless protraction. Bullock should be murdered! We should rise up and murder Bullock! Thank you very much”

Richardson: My father didn’t like me.

E.B. I’d like to use your ointment to suffocate you. (Richardson continues dabbing the ointment onto E.B.’s wounds)

 

(In the street, Ellsworth is walking Sophia to school, and meets the Bullocks)

 

Ellsworth: May the little one walk with you? Is that alright?

Martha: Of course!  (Ellsworth turns and leaves)

Sophia: My mother’s sick.

(Seth turns and looks long at the Ellsworth house)

 

(Cut to the Gem Saloon front door. Davey is in front blocking the door to any who try to enter. As a hoople approaches, he stops him)

 

Davey: We’re closed for the next 15 min.

 

(At the Gem bar, Al is wiping the bar. The 2 gunmen who killed the Cornishmen the day before are standing at opposite ends of the bar. 2 other well-dressed men are sitting at a table nearby. The set-up is identical to the sketch that Hearst sent)

 

1st gunman: Whiskey.

2nd gunman: Beer.

(Al looks at each one in turn and pauses. Dan is in the barber chair with a sheet over him, getting a shave.)

Al: I’m concerned it might be taken as provocation, me serving his whiskey before you getting your beer, or the very reversal of that.

1st gunman: Just bring the whiskey.

2nd gunman: Fuckin’ beer.

Al: And these others, they friends of yours that come in on your heels? (pointing to the 2 at the table. Johnny is sitting to the side of the bar looking at the sketch and comparing it to what he sees), You friends of these boys fellas? (Al starts pouring the whiskey) Should I be taking your orders all together? (to gunman #1) Was your’s the fuckin beer?

1st gunman: Mine was the fuckin’ whiskey.

Al: (sighs) Right then. (Dan pushes the barber aside, Al walks over to the 1st gunman) Right you fuckin are.

 

(Al throws the drink in the gunman’s face, and quickly pulls his knife, stabbing him in the chest, then spinning him around and slitting his throat. At the same time, Dan leaps up and grabs the 2nd gunman from behind and knifes him. The 2nd gunman’s gun fires into the ceiling. Johnny has pulled the shotgun and is aiming at the 2 men at the table.)

 

 

Johnny: Make a move cocksuckers!!

Al: Don’t you shoot em’ Johnny!   If these fellas had been sent here to draw, I believe they’d have already done it. (waves his knife at the 2) Go ahead, go on fellas. And mind the muck at the thoroughfare center!  Debates are on for tonight, whomever you might wanna tell!

 

(As those 2 are leaving in haste, Charlie Utter is entering. He stops and takes a long look around)

 

Charlie: Uh, I’ll drink, uh, after I’ve et. (he turns to walk back out, Al and Dan drop their gunman’s bodies to the floor. Charlie grabs a man who is also entering as he is leaving) Nuh-uh, no-no, you don’t want that – you don’t want to go in there

(the barber is standing and shaking, he has peed in his pants)

 

(Cut to the Hardware store, Sol is finishing the paperwork with Silas for the house)

 

Seth: Definitely a prudent investment.

Silas: If I could control even one of my vices, believe me, I’d have kept it myself.

(Charlie enters, nods to Seth)

Seth: Excuse me. (he leaves with Charlie)

(Silas spits in his hand and offers it to Sol)

Sol: Oh no, (points to the paper and pen) That’s what these are for. (signing the papers) whether I ever fucking live there or not.

 

(Cut to Alma’s room, Trixie and Whitney are at Alma’s bedside)

 

Alma: My husband and I agreed, before marrying, that property held by either of us before the union would not be encumbered by our marriage. As to such properties held by me, I name my ward Sophia as inheritor.

Trixie: I’ve heard her.

Alma: I wish no amendment as to guardianship or administration of those properties.

Trixie: I’ve heard her.

Whitney: Aught Mr Bullock be present to accept?

Alma: This is property before our marriage.

Whitney: I know what it is. Don’t he need to accept, bein’ stererd now to Sophia’s interests? Why don’t I go fetch him….

 

 

(Cut to the school. Martha is gently pulling Jane by the arm,  to face the class)

 

Martha: We have a special guest with us today. Miss Jane Cannery. 

(Mose is peeking in a rear window)

Girl: An Indian scout!

Jane: (pointing to Sophia) There’s a child I know.

Girl: Sophia!

Jane: (nervously shifting around) Anyways…uh…I was a scout for Armstrong Custer.

James: George

Jane: You’re right, but I always called him “General” to his face, and “Armstrong” behind his back.

James: Why?

Martha: James…

 

 

Jane: I guess I…..I always spoke of him as Armstrong cause he seemed puffed up to me, and Armstrong has a puffed-up sound. (giggling, Jane grabs a little chair and sits down in front of the class) Any quarrel with me continuing James?

James: Go ahead.

 

(Cut to E.B.’s room at the Grand Central. Richardson is with EB, and is peeking through a peep-hole into the lobby. He spies Charlie and Seth walking by)

 

Richardson: Uh-Oh.

E.B.: Why say uh-oh? If you don’t mean to go on and explain yourself, why say anything at all? Do you only feign stupidity, while in fact plotting ways to madden me?

Richardson: No.

E.B.: Why did you say it….why did you say “Uh-Oh”?

Richardson: It’s the sheriff that beat you!   Now comes Mr Hearst.

 

(Cut to the dining room, Charlie and Seth are just sitting down to eat when Hearst comes in. Hearst appear un-plussed by them being there, but they are both very aware of him and Charlie is nervous.)

 

Hearst: Gentlemen.

Charlie: (To Seth, holding his hat up so as to shield himself from Hearst) Two of his men throat-cut, he picks the fuckin’ fish!

Seth: Why do you think the men were his?

(Ellsworth walks in and approaches Seth)

Elllsworth: My wife would like to see you. (Seth looks worried and leaves with Ellsworth)

Hearst: (To Charlie) Kinda warm.

 

(Cut to the school)

 

Jane: The man didn’t listen, his basic fundamental problem. He’s look hisself in the mirror while you were giving your report.. Once I said to him how thin his waist was….and how pretty I found his hair…..(mimicking) ..just to get him to turn around….which he did, just to tell me to get out of his tent. So, I guess my lesson I guess my lesson I got to teach you…listen and you won’t get scalped!  And don’t look at yourself too much in the mirror!  What else I found puffy, he traveled with a dozen caged animals like you’d see in some zoo in the east. Like we don’t have enough wild animals around here huh?

Martha: Let us all thank Jane….for her bravery here today.

Kids in unison: Thank you Jane.

Jane: (Pointing to Sophia) I know another brave person here too. (Pointing to Martha), Several.

 

(Cut to Alma’s living room, where Doc, Trixie and Whitney are setting up an operating table. Doc and Whitney are situating 2 large mirrors so as to reflect the window light onto the proper place on the table)

 

Doc: More, more more, more. (Trixie is spread-legged on the table to be Martha’s stand-in while they adjust the mirrors. )

Doc: (To trixie) Wider. (meaning her knees. Whitnet listakes this for meaning to move the mirror). Not you!. Al right. (Trixie gets up)

 

(Alma’s room, Seth is there)

 

Alma: Sophia must be protected. If my first husband’s family attacks Sophia’s title in court. Mr Hearst might be approached as a potential purchaser. I’m sure he could buy the relevant authorities.

Seth: Alright.

Alma: Given his history with Hearst, I’d spare Mr Ellsworth that indignity.

Seth: I understand.

Alma: (looking long at Seth) Thank you Mr Bullock. (And after a very long pause) I regret nothing.  (Seth turns and leaves without speaking)

(Downstairs, they are preparing the table as Seth leaves. He and Whitney exchange looks, Whitney heads upstairs and Seth leaves)

 

(As Seth walks outside, he sees Sol looking in one of the living room windows. Sol looks at him, gives him a thumbs up and looks back in the window. He is trying to get Trixie’s attention inside the room. She finally sees him, smiles and goes over to the window. Sol is mouthing the words that he has bought the house, and after several attempts, he makes his meaning understood. Then he thinks, and ads: “Doesn’t mean we have to move in together!”. Trixie turns and walks away, and is beaming.)

 

(back to Alma’s room)

 

Alma: Please remind Sophia that the full moon is in 2 days.

Whitney: All right

Alma: We three will watch it together.

 

 

(Gem saloon, Dan and Johnny are loading the 2 bodies onto the sled. Davey is scrubbing a blood stain)

Johnny: Davey is taking a chance, not lettin’ Al do the scrubbing.

Dan: That’s Davey’s fuckin’ problem.

Johnny: (As they get the 2nd body situated on top of the 1st)  All right.(Johnny holds up Hearst’s sketch to Dan, wanting an explanation)

Dan: All right. (they sit on the sled, using the bodies as a sort of a table) Now, Hearst sent these 2, the ones you had the drop on.

Johnny: That didn’t draw.

Dan: Yeah, he sent the 2 that didn’t draw, so these 2 wouldn’t be so quick to their irons.

Johnny: These 2 that you and Al murdered.

Dan: Correct, these 2. (pointing to the 2 bodies that they are leaning on) So see that give me and Al time to cut their throats. Now, that was Hearst showing Al his ass.

Johnny: And sending this diagram ahead, was him signaling Al his intentions.

Dan: Well, it was his preliminary signaling that he was gonna show his ass, if Al was smart enough to know it. Now otherwise, if Al didn’t know it was comin’, he’d a been surprised when those 2 didn’t back these 2’s play.

Johnny: Well, thinking that Al would throw his hands up surprised shows that Hearst ain’t too smart. (Thumping on the dead gunman)

Dan: Aw, he’s smart Johnny. I mean they both him and Al real fuckin’ smart.

(One of the bodies lets a big fart, Dan and Johnny jump and make faces)

Johnny: (groans) Oh, that’d knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon.

(Dan looks up to see Capt Turner darkening the doorway with another note in hand)

 

(Cut to Al’s office, Silas and Al)

 

Silas: I just, I feel shunted aside and the like. Not involved as much as previous.

Al: Adams, you were busy with Star.

Silas: That you sent me off to see.

Al: thinking you’d be back before time for the murders.

Silas: So it wasn’t like a decision you made to have the murders while I was signin’ the papers.

Al: You have no idea how fuckin’ badly you are boring me.  (knock at door) Ya!

Dan: That captain’s brought over another envelope.

Al: (Getting up to leave, then turns to Silas) Won’t you see with me what this might portend?

Silas: All right.

 

(downstairs, Johnny is entertaining Turner)

 

Johnny: Drink? Or won’t you be staying?

Al: (to Turner) Ask the fella who made them “x”s, if he hires out for portraits. (Turner hands Al the note, turns and leaves without speaking. Al opens it and reads, as he is walking to the door. Johnny, Dan and Silas all line up to follow Al to the door)

Johnny: What’s Al doin’?

Dan: Like I fuckin’ know.

Silas: If we was trailin’ water, we might get took for ducklings.

(on the street now, in front of the Grand Central, Al is watching Hearst knock a hole in the exterior wall,  giving himself access to the roof of the hotel’s porch. Al hands the note to Dan, who reads it aloud)

Dan: Come watch the speeches with me…um…it’s written in awkward hand.

Al: Come watch the speeches with me on my veranda. That’s what it says.

(Merrick is coming out of his office)

Merrick: What in god’s name is going on? And I inquire about more than that hole.  (Al looks at Merrick, and they go to Merrick’s office)

Merrick: these last months have made me expert. It was gunfire and it came from your saloon.

Al: Has not the press a duty Merrick, qualifying it’s accounts in time of war?

Merrick: Are we at war now, here in the camp…has that fact been suppressed as well? Absent formal declaration Al, information which affects this community is not my prerogative to disseminate. To do so is my sacred responsibility.

Al: Whores currently disseminating a dose, for example?

Merrick: To inform within the limits of decency, we’ve had this discussion before.

Al: Citizens better die postulating that touch indecent ink?

Merrick: Make a list of the infected whores, and account for this morning’s gunfire and I’ll publish it all.

Al: I won’t, fucking Merrick, because neither’s to my fucking interest. Just as you owning a print press proves only you’ve an interest in the truth. Meaning up to a fucking point. Slightly more than us others, maybe, but short of a fucking anointing or the shouldering of a sacred burden, unless of course the print pres was gift of a fucking angel, I’d wanta be there for that handoff myself.  Maybe you should print an extra, saying the speeches are on again.

Merrick: Tonight?

Al: What time do you think would be best?

 

(Cut to Charlie’s post office, Charlie is scooping up spilled mail from the floor, Seth walks in)

 

Charlie: (under his breath) People should try keeping their thoughts to themselves. (notices Seth in the room) Yessir?

Seth: Will you mind, Charlie, not being noted tonight from the hustings?

Charlie: Be a godsend.

Seth: Mrs Ellsworth isn’t well.

Charlie: I’m sorry.

Seth: If, while I’m on that goddamned platform, if you could station yourself outside her place.

Charlie: Sure I could.

Seth: Sol’s speakin too, ya see, or I’d ask him.

Charlie: I’m glad to do it Bullock, glad and fuckin’ relieved.  Doc Cochran seein to her?  (Seth nods)  In good hands then.

Seth: And Mrs Bullock sees to Sophia.

Charlie: Don’t that child thrive now, with startin into school? Sweet as before, and notably more outgoing.

Seth: (after a long pause) Trixie will come out from helping the Doc.

Charlie: Like to come out for a smoke.

(Seth turns to leave then stops and turns back, seems at a loss for words)

Charlie: (looking around at the mess) Fuckin mail huh?

 

(Cut to No.10, Harry is behind the bar reading his speech to himself. He looks to be in distress, holding his side and shifting around. The shit-stirrer is seated at a table)

 

Rutherford: Uncharted territory Harry. Coming up on 14 minutes.

Harry: I don’t care, I don’t care whatever you mean.

Rutherford: Readied as you were yesterday, only to have the event deferred, do you suppose it’s nerves about givin’ your speech has your bowels in upheaval?

Harry:  When you was a boy, Rutherford, I bet you was a hand at tying cans to dog’s tails and setting cats ablaze.

Rutherford: Or, uncertainty when they’ll be held?

(Harry sighs in exasperation, grabs his ass, and runs out the back door to the privy)

Rutherford: Overturning turtles was my specialty.

 

(Cut to an interior room, Joanie is seeing to Lila)

 

Joanie: Wake up Lila. Wake up!  Don’t you close your eyes again!

Lila: How do you make it through?

Joanie: Go on girl, get out!

(Lila gets up and staggers out the door)

 

(Cut ot Alma’s living room, she is situated on the table with Doc and Trixie in attendance. Doc is between her knees, Trixie is by her side)

 

Trixie: Seven times through, Alma, I’m healthy as a fuckin’ horse.

Doc: I trust you not to modify my instructions.

Trixie: To the letter Doc.

Doc: All right, begin.  (to Alma) You’ll be alright.

(Trixie places a gauze over Alma’s mouth and pours some ether onto it until Alma is asleep. Doc is holding Alma’s hand and repeating “You’ll be alright”)

Doc: (to trixie) Turn your head away from the cloth and breathe!

Trixie: Shut the fuck up and concentrate.

Doc: Turn your head away goddammit!

(They are screaming at each other now, Ellsworth can hear them on the front porch, and Charlie hears them across the street)

Trixie: What I’m used to, this is like smellin’ fucking posies!

Doc: I would just as soon that you not fucking pass out!

Trixie: When you’re done with hers Doc, why don’t you fucking kiss mine!

 

(Night time now, cut to the street near the hustings. The street is crowded with people)

 

(Bullock house, Seth descends the stairs, Martha and Sophia are making bread.)

 

Martha: I’ll be back in just a moment Sophia, round the dough’s ends.

Seth: Mrs Ellsworth is being seen to by Dr Cochran. And, Trixie I believe is assisting him.

Martha: I’ll keep care of Sophia while you deliver your speech. And, we’ll both pray for Mrs Ellsworth. (Seth nods and leaves)

 

(Tolliver’s room, he is alone on the bed)

 

Cy: Go on then, spend time finding spine to put the bullet in your brain. Calls me the fuckin’ devil! (picks up his bible) Show me another fuckin strategy. Bedridden and liable to fuckin slaughter. Deception don’t preclude the search for fuckin conviction. (cut to the Bella Union bar, Con and Leon).

Con: When is when?

Leon: You are a fuckin stitch!

Con: “About to begin” could mean anything. There’s a crowd outside, are the speeches about to begin? Is when now?   Oh dear, Oh brother..

(Andy Cramed walks into the bar)

Leon: What is it?

Con: Only Andy Cramed, you drug-addled turd!

Andy: Gentlemen.

Con: Yes, sir. (laughs) Yes, sirree.  Reverend!  Excuse me for just a moment!  Reverend!

Leon: Reverend!  Guess you heard about the Clergical discount on wheel and faro both? 

 

(Con rushes into Cy’s room, trying to hide the liquor bottle behind his back)

 

Cy: Yes, Con?

Con: Andy Cramed that stabbed you is outside with Leon, sir.

Cy: Is he?

Con: Yes, sir.  Just come in.

Cy: Is his blade sheathed?

Con: No brandishin’ no threatenin’ gestures of any kind.

Cy: I’ll see him, Con.

Con: Yes, sir.

 

(Joanie looks out the window and sees Charlie standing in the street.  He also sees her in the window and they exchange looks. She sees Doc come out of the house and take Ellsworth inside)

 

(Cy’s room, he is feigning sleep)

 

Cy: Reverend Cramed.  Or are you an apparition?

Andy: It’s me, Cy.

Cy: Ain’t that what a spirit would say?

Andy: It’s Andy Cramed in the flesh.  How are you, Cy?

Cy: Well, I’d say overall. Though I’ll never shit again without pain.

Andy: I’m sorry.

Cy: Now you ain’t come to finish me off?

Andy: To ask your forgiveness.

Cy: And decide how to vote.

Andy: Coming for the speeches was my excuse.

Cy: As far as stabbing me, Reverend, you was sorely fuckin’ provoked.  I denied you’d been called, treated you like the shitbag fuckin’ operator you used to be.

Andy: I forgive you, Cy, as I come to beg your forgiveness. 

Cy: (points to his bible) The ribbon’s at Matthew 12, Reverend.  Could you read verse 31 for me?  (Andy takes the Bible and finds the spot.)

Andy: “Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven except blasphemy against the spirit.”

Cy: Couldn’t Matthew be speaking of me there?  Oh, Christ Al-fuckin’-mighty, I’m so glad to fuckin’ see you, Andy, with—with forgiveness in your fuckin’ heart.  (He sits up  on the edge of the bed.  Drawing a pistol out and pointing it at Andy)  Oh…where is this strength coming from now?  Where is this strength coming from that I feel flowing into me, that lets me sit up and try to fuckin’ touch you, Andy, if only you’ll fuckin’ let me?  Fuck me!  Fuckin’ Jesus Christ Almighty!  Can you feel what’s fuckin’ moving here?  It’s moving in the room right now!  If only you’d hold me, I believe I could walk.  (Leon walks in – he is confused by what he sees)

Leon: Con said now may be when you ask to be told about.

Cy: Jesus Christ, you’re well-arrived.  Would you have dope’s cross off your shoulders, son?

Leon: I know I’d—(coughs) like to take less.

Cy: Then fall to your fuckin’ knees.  (points the gun at him – Leon drops) Get to your motherfuckin’ knees, Leon, and ask the Lord to lift your burden part-way. 

Leon: Hear me!  Lord!

Cy: Don’t fuck with the fuckin’ deity, Leon!  You’ve got to come to him wholehearted, even when you’re asking for partial relief.  Oh, Lord!  Let Leon cut down, Lord, on the motherfuckin’ dope.  Let him cut way the fuck back.

Andy: I’ll speak to you another time.  (Andy seems pretty confused and frightened by all this.)

Cy: Oh!  Do you hear how I’m coming at him for you, Leon?  (Leon nods, his eyes shut tight and hands in prayer)  How I fully fuckin’ supplicate the motherfucker?  (Con opens the door)

Con: Speeches are near commensurating, Sir.  Now that’s a definite.

Cy: (Shakes his head, looks at Leon)  Get the fuck up, Leon.  Help Con get me ready.

 

(Al’s office, Al is readying to meet Hearst.)

 

Johnny: Any argument for us accompanying you over there, boss?

Al: Don’t strike the right note going over there with seconds.

Dan: Know Goddamn well Hearst is gonna have his second there, that sea-creature-looking cocksucker.

Al: Hearst would have it understood the Captain is just a hefty steward of the household.

Dan: Yeah, one with a dozen fuckin’ pelts on his belt.

Al: Even so, Dan, Hearst’s man has pretext for his presence.  You and the others don’t.  What with the olive branch I’ll be bearing between my teeth.  

Silas: You mind if we watch you from the balcony?

Al: Not at all.  Moment seems meet, blow me a kiss.  (He turns around, Dan is  in the way.) Excuse me. 

 

(In the street outside Alma’s house, Charlie is now standing with Joanie)

 

Joanie: If I could, I’d tear my skin off.  If I could, I’d put out my eyes.

Charlie: Now now.

Joanie: I hate being sick.  Cy knew what I was.  He knew to pick me all those years back.

Charlie: Miss Stubbs, did you like my friend Bill Hickok?

Joanie: Oh, I—I just met him the once at the Bella, at poker with Jack McCall.

Charlie: Did you like Bill that night? 

Joanie: (nods)  I thought he was a gentleman.

Charlie: He was.

Joanie: I felt he had a good soul.

Charlie: He did, Miss Stubbs.  (Charlie is choking up) I can say that.  I knew him 20 years.  You know what else?  Bill that we both liked so well—and most everyone did that knew him, incliding some he killed—Bill thought as ill of his own self as you seem to do about you.  So go on and try explaining people to me.  And same as hearing me say what Bill thought of his self I don’t expect brings you to think any less of him…maybe you, Miss Stubbs, oughtn’t to stand judge and jury and every other job in courth on your own personal case.  Maybe, coming to verdict, credit others’ opinion of you like you do what you think of Bill…still. 

 

(He reaches out and pats her hand comfortingly, and grabs it.  They hold hands)

 

(At the hustings, Merrick talks to the night’s speakers.)

 

Merrick: So I’m gonna-I’m gonna just do some introductory remarks.  I’ll call you up on stage.  Say what you have to say and that’s it.  (Backs up, steps in something.) Aw, shit.

 

 (Hearst’s room, Al is knocking.)

 

Al: Mr. Hearst.

Hearst: Do you come to me placated, Mr. Swearengen?

Al: Never more so, not even as a tiny tot.

Hearst: Let’s hear the speeches together. (He steps into the hall)

Al: Show me your hole in the wall, which I find a useful advance.

 

(Merrick steps up onto the platform.)

 

Merrick: De Tocqueville said, “When an opinion has taken root in a democracy and established itself in the minds of the majority, it thereafter persists by itself.” (Hearst and Al step out onto the porch roof of the Grand Central.)  Tonight let us plant the seed of an opinion  to take root and grow deep, that gathering to this end choosing those who will act in our name is proper,  so that in years to come, among those who succeed us in this thoroughfare this idea will persist and seem to them self-evident.  Candidates for Mayor—E.B. Farnum and Sol Star.  The incumbent will address us first.  ( Merrick grunts as he climbs down.)  Oh God.  (E.B. looks down on him) Sorry.

EB: I give no long speech tonight.  You know me and my works.

Hearst: Your bosom must swell with pride, Mr. Swearengen.

Al: Swellings and saggings to the tit I lay at the exactions of time. (Hearst chuckles.)

Hearst: I mean you worked to bring this evening about.  To labor without pleasure makes us our destiny’s slaves.

Al: To work for crumbs or to keep from the lash says maybe a slave’s what you are.

EB: I’ll not question those either who have faith in my rival, or make faith an issue of any sort.  (whistles and gestures a large nose – a woman laughs)  We are long past the time of the Pharaohs.  I cannot decree Mr Star make exodus.

Hearst: Were you whipped, Mr. Swearengen?  And does the lash snap still?  Do you wait for the strike after all these years?

Al: Would the grip have been the part you were versed with?

Hearst: I was born to neither power nor money.  My father sold goods from a countryside crossroads hut.

EB: A clear choice for Deadwood!  Farnum—twice measured.  Star—once cut.  (points to his crotch) E.B. Farnum! Assayed and proven true!  Farnum!  Christ knows he’s earned it!  Thank you.

Merrick: Mr. Star!  (Sol climbs up)

Hearst: When last we spoke, you warranted your willingness to interfere with me.

Al: Only to convey that my place should be for my uses. 

Sol: I won’t need a miracle far as parting the creek to take my leave of the camp. I just bought a house and plan to live here as long as God gives me.  (E.B. mockingly claps)

Hearst: And my intention in making my sacrifice to you today—and it seems, my life’s great challenge—was to show the virtue of consolidating purposes.

Hooplehead: Keep people from shitting in the creek!  (The crowd yells support)

Sol: That, siftings runoff, tailings accumulating…

Al: I’d say that’s naming horseshit virtue.  Purposes butt up against each other, and the strong call “consolidating” bending the weak to their will. (Captain Turner steps out behind Al) And I’d add that whoever’s behind me is about to study his guts.

Hearst: That’s Captain Turner at three steps’ remove as he has heard about your knifework close in. 

 

 

Hooplehead: No lowered pants in the whitewood!

Seth: That’s enough about the shit in the creek.

Hearst: Away from your seconds’ view, the Captain’s pistol is trained at your head.  Do you believe yourself enough adept, Mr. Swearengen, to overcome your disadvantage or will you walk with us inside?  (Al flicks his toothpick) Hmm.

Al: Not throwing my hands up or my skirt over my head don’t mean I ain’t awestruck.  (Hearst chuckles.)

Johnny: (watching this exchange) Well, they ain’t slobbering on each other, but they ain’t snarling neither.  (Hearst and Al walk inside, Turner smiles at the guys at the Gem)

Sol: Needs to do with the camp, or problems, you can always find me at the hardware store.  (The crowd applauds as Sol steps down.)

Merrick: Seth Bullock for Sheriff! (Cy steps out onto his balcony with Con and Leon behind him.  Seth climbs the hustings and pulls out his speech.)

Seth: I agree with what Mr. Star says.  I find I usually do.  I’m lucky we’ve been partnered these years.  Keeps giving me time to catch up.  I’m glad he’s standing for office, and I’d try to be as good a Sheriff…as he’d be a Mayor to the camp. 

 

(Cut to Doc, Ellsworth and Trixie lifting Alma off the table.)

 

Seth: Sol’s buying a house.  I built one last year.  I’m glad we’re in the camp…even on the sorriest of days.  (Merrick looks up at him, Seth tips his had and climbs down.  The crowd applauds.)

Merrick: Harry Manning for Sheriff.

 

(Cut to Alma’s house, Trixie is stepping outside for a smoke. Charlie sees her, then looks back to Joanie before approaching Trixie.)

 

(Cut to Hearst’s room, he puts a shotglass in front of Al and over-pours Al a shot of cheap whiskey)

 

Hearst: Accepting your premise, Mr. Swearengen, I’ll not name how you would benefit from the action I wish you to take, saying only instead it’s my will. To which I will have you bend, I suggest you drink that..  (Captain Turner pulls his gun, standing behind Al.)

Al: (Seated, arms crossed.) No.

Hearst: I would incorporate into my holdings the claim now owned by Mrs. Ellsworth.  I am told that you can help me bring this about.(Turner pistol-whips Al on the back of the head/neck, knocking him to the floor.  He grabs Al from behind and holds him still, holding Al’s left hand on the top of the table.) Tell me how you will help.  (He takes out a rock-pick and brandishes it.) This is a grip I’m used to. (He hovers over Al.)

 

 

Al: (sputtering) As far as making your way into her…act averse to nasty language and partial to fruity tea.

(Al smiles as Turner holds him still, Hearst raises hi hand and plants the flat edge of the rock-pick into Al’s hang as hard as he can. Al gasps and colapses)

 

(Cut to Harry giving his speech)