Episode 33: Amateur Night
Click to view all the episode images
(Morning, open in a room at the Bella Union. We see
Morgan Earp sleeping with Tess. She is awake, watching Morgan sleep. The door
opens and Con motions to her to get moving. Cut to the hallway, we see Leon
exiting a room with Wyatt following. The Earps exchange looks and greetings all
around and then leave.)
(Cut to the Bullock house as Seth and Martha are
talking in the kitchen.)
Seth: One-third
of six is two. The combination of the safe in the hardware store. Which you should commit to memory against
eventualities.
Martha: As
was threatened by the arrival of those men last night.
Seth: Yes.
There are deeds, some 7% bonds, certificates, sundry receivables, one-third of
six is two.
Martha:
One-three-ought-six-two.
Seth: Yes.
Martha:
The children and I are moving into the new schoolhouse today.
Seth:
Good. (They smile and sit.) I’ll walk with you.
(Cut to the new school, where Joanie and Mose are
looking at a tree that stands in the middle of the room.)
Joanie: I
wish we’d found out the last part for Mrs. Bullock to tell the children.
Mose: We did as best we could.
Joanie: (Studying the room) Does four desks to a
row seem right?
Mose:
Mmm, if not, they ain’t nailed to the floor.
Joanie: You
ain’t seen Jane?
(Mose shakes his head, Joanie studies the room).
(Cut to the hotel as Hearst is meeting with his new
troops as he drinks his morning tea)
Hearst: The
camp is to know they’re here. The camp is to know they’re my employees. If this
knowledge came first from some disruption of traffic in the thoroughfare, I
would have no objection.
Leader: All right.
Hearst:
And matters might deteriorate from there.
(Cut to the Gem saloon as Al descends the stairs. Dan
and Jewell are at the bar. Davel is standing watch at the front door)
Al: Coffee!
Jewel:
Ready.
Al:
Well-positioned, Davey.
Davey:
Yes, Sir, Mr. Swearengen.
Al: Eyeing
them idlers outside Hearst’s hotel.
Dan:
Copperhead cocksucker Hearst, bringing in the fucking Pinkertons.
Al:
Not
much of a horserace, Dan, between the appetite for blood and fidelity to
political conviction.
Johnny:
Fucking Pinkertons!
Al: Do we
have alternatives to enlisting reinforcements in Cheyenne?
Dan: I
knew I should have stayed packed from four days ago.
Davey:
Some bullshit’s jumping off on the thoroughfare, Mr. Swearengen. (Al
and the group walk out to the front porch to see the Pinkertons on horseback
harassing people in the street, including a very muddy Mr Wu.)
Pinkerton1: Get out of my way.
Pinkerton2: Move it, old timer! (Mr. Wu tries to make his
way down the street.) Get out of
the way, Hop Lee!
Pinkerton1: Hang on.
(He hits Wu with his hat.)
MrWu:
Cocksucker!
Pinkerton1: Move along, ding-dong! Move along!
Move along!
MrWu:
Cocksucker!
Pinkerton1: Move along, ding-dong! (Another
Pinkerton laughs. Mr. Wu falls to the
ground.)
Al: Go get
fucking Wu. (Johnny goes for Wu.) Question extant being, till reinforced, can we learn the ways of
church mice? (Johnny helps Wu up. Wu pushes him off.) Call on Tolliver.
(Cut to the hotel where Hearst is still talking to
the leader.)
Hearst:
You
will not mistake the newspaperman. He looks like a…big turtle. Published a
letter meant to embarrass me. That I authored his discomfiture should come
clear only as events accumulate.
Leader: All right.
(Cut to the Bella Union main room where Silas meets
with Cy)
Silas: The
top of my to-do list every morning, and every day gets away from me.
Cy:
Anyways, here you are.
Silas: Here I am.
Al’s delegate, as far as him and you deal with Mr. Hearst.
Cy: Will
you still if invited to sit or will it take me offering a meal?
Silas: I’d sooner not sit, Sir, and already ate. Only asking, ought I bear a message to Al?
Cy:
Nothing comes to mind.
Silas: Horsemen come to camp by torchlight last night.
Cy: Tell
Al as we didn’t wake to the apocalypse, I suppose all we need fear is their
Winchesters.
(Cut to the hotel dining room where Hearst is sitting
with Lou nearby. He spots Jack entering and waves to him)
Hearst: The
pillars of my existence who should know each other: (He waves Jack over) Mr.
John Langrishe, my dear Aunt Lou Marchbanks.
Jack: With whose art I am most appreciatively
familiar.
Hearst:
Uh, Mr. Langrishe is now to my back, Aunt Lou, what you have long been to my
belly.
Lou: I’ve
been heavy all my life.
Jack: Oh, I refer not at all to you, Dear Lady.
Lou:
Salty, juicy ham this morning.
Jack: I must have it.
Hearst:
The usual for me, Aunt Lou. (She nods and leaves) Sit sit sit sit.
Jack: Must I do so four times? (They
laugh)
Hearst:
Ah, my closest confidant in the camp is Aunt Lou, and I say that with every
awareness.
Jack: Wonderful.
(A number of people stand
in line for food, the “leader” stands in line with them)
Man: I
guess I must have went invisible over night.
Leader: I
saw you, Drummer.
Man: And yet you cut in front of me. (Leader
stomps on the man’s foot hard, he falls and is dragged out of the line.) I
just knew you wouldn’t be eating.
Jack: Did I not see the gentlemen who is still
upright arrive in the camp last night?
Hearst: I
believe I may have as well. I was on
the porch of this structure, and you with Mr. Swearengen on his balcony. I believe he came in on horseback.
Jack: Not as a pedestrian, ironically, given his
heavy-footed virtuosity.
Hearst:
What did Mr. Swearengen make of the coming into camp of that man among his
friends?
Jack: Do allow me, Mr. Hearst, as your corporal
comfort’s advocate, in this regard to be neutral. Let me show in your company on the subject of Al, no less
rigorous a reticence than I exhibit with Al when addressing the subject of you. (Aunt
Lou approaches with their food) Ah!
My ham.
(Cut to the street, Alma is walking to the bank. As
she arrives, Trixie is waiting on the boardwalk, as is a armed guard who’s
standing watch on the bank.)
Alma: Good morning.
Trixie:
Morning.
Alma: Good morning, Louis. I hope your night was
uneventful.
Louis: Yes, ma’am. Jim’s late so I’ll
watch till he arrives.
Alma: Thank you.
How have you been, Trixie?
Trixie:
No
complaints. As if anybody would give a shit.
I come to put in some money.
Alma: I’m glad.
(Cut to the street outside No 10. Fields is wheeling
Steve into the bar in a sort of a cart.)
Fields: Oh
shit! You motherfucker! (He
pushes harder and gets it inside the bar.)
Harry: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Fields: I
ain’t no Goddamn nurse! I gotta see to
my business in this camp.
Harry: Tom’s rules. You can’t set if you
ain’t drinking.
Fields:
He’s buying for them that do. (He puts
gold coins down on the table)
Harry: Yeah, uh, and what if he messes
hisself? (NG puts more coins down)
Fields:
For them that wipes him off. I ain’t seeing him out. I ain’t gonna fucking do
it!
(Fields leaves, leaving
the patrons to stare at stuperous Steve.
(Cut to the bank as Alma and Trixie are talking)
Trixie: You
seem better of late at a distance than you appeared when last seen up close.
Alma: And now that you’ve seen me up close?
Trixie: I
get the same impression, particularly of a clearness at the eye.
Alma: I am better. (Jack enters the bank)
Jack: Good morning.
Trixie:
Anyways, (She takes some money out of her
blouse) there’s 12 bucks I deposit into my account. If the currency’s
counterfeit, my fucking Jew boss is the culprit. (She turns to leave.)
Jack: Do not, please, Madam, hasten your business or
abridge it.
Trixie: I
don’t need no receipt. Trust the lady. (She
leaves)
Jack: John Langrishe, Madam, of the Langrishe
Theater Company.
Alma: How do you do, Mr. Langrishe?
Jack: Glad I’m well to bid you good morning. (they
sit) I’d undertake two transactions. Deposit of $4,000 and the borrowing of
like amount.
Alma: Those would seem at cross-purpose.
Jack: Theater types being perceived as transient,
nomadic … without stake, so to speak, in a place’s particulars, my redundant
undertakings would allay mistrust of my kind endemic in such camps as these.
Oh. (chuckles, and picks up a bag from the
floor.) No less weighty than my
verbiage. (chuckles)
Alma: You
have your loan, Mr. Langrishe.
Jack: A pleasure, Mrs. Ellsworth. (He
gets up to leave, grabbing his hat.) By way of publicity, this evening we
conduct an amateur night. I wish to
state, unequivocally with this imposing gentleman as witness, (motions to
Louis),
I have no gossamer filament of doubt you have skills to delight and
amaze.
(Cut to the hardware store, where the Earps are
loading up their supplies into a wagon.)
Morgan: They
have their fucking fun with you, and in the morning, they treat you like dirt.
Wyatt: (laughs) And you a fucking virgin…
Morgan: No,
and not pretending to be.
Wyatt: To
be wounded by her callous ways.
Morgan:
All I’m saying is she could have been nicer, and those steerers more fucking
polite. (The Pinkertons gallop past en mass, throwing up mud.) Assholes! (Morgan starts after them)
Wyatt:
Hey, we got a timber lease to work. Get over there. (Seth is noting the
disturbance)
(Cut to the Gem saloon, where Wu is drawing one of
his stories at a table. Johnny watches closely.)
MrWu: Dinh. (He
looks up at Johnny and pushes his sketch over. And holds his thumb up. Johnny
studies the sketch and gives him a thumbs up back.)
Dan: Oh,
yeah, I’m sure them scribblin’s as clear as fuckin’ rainwater to you, Johnny.
He who was stymied by a couple of fucking X’s and a Goddamn straight line. Winks, grins, gives Wu the big okay.
MrWu:
Okay.
Johnny: If
I recall the drawing you’re referring to, I believe the straight line signifying
the bar was first made out by me. As
far as these pictures here, now I, not fathoming the full particulars, I feel I
get the general drift.
Dan: You best trot upstairs with Johnny, Wu. Show
Al your work is finished. But remember, Al, he … he ain’t near as quick as
Johnny or fucking Jewel. No, Al might be confused and treat you to a fucking
ass-kicking.
MrWu: Bok
Gwai Lo. (He shakes his head and tries to brush some dirt off of his suit.Cut to
Al’s office, Al meets with Silas.)
Al: Well,
what does Tolliver know of the guns come to camp?
Silas: Said he don’t know nothing.
Al: And
you fuckin’ believe him, huh?
Silas: I think, I did. Felt like he’s outside looking in.
Al:
We
ought to form a fucking club. (He steps
out onto the balcony and sees Hugo Jarry riding down the street. He steps back
inside.) Fucking Yankton’s rejoined us for Christ’s fucking sake? (Silas looks outside and Jarry sees him. He
steps back in.)
Silas: Must have finished stealing from the Indians.
(Cut to the street, the Earps are driving their wagon
out of town. As they pass a group of Pinkertons, one of them shouts)
Man: Wipe
your ass, Hiram. It feels strange at first, but the shit protects against
blisters. (Morgan jumps off. Wyatt stops
the wagon.)
Wyatt: Whoa!
Morgan:
Will you be here after work?
Man: If I am, will you suck my prick?
Morgan:
Well, if you ain’t, and a fella says Hiram’s trying to find you, if he don’t go
on to call you a cunt, he’s cutting the message short. (The
man looks at the leader, who shakes his head “no”.)
Wyatt: Let’s go,
Morgan.
Morgan:
What, was it him that got you hooked on cocksucking?
Wyatt: Get
on the fucking wagon.
Man: I’ll
be here, Hiram. Try some shit on them
blisters.
Morgan:
Let him fuck your ass. He may raise your pay a quarter. You might already be
too loose. (Morgan hols up his hands to
indicate the size of the man’s ass-hole.) See you this afternoon.
(Cut to the hotel as Jarry is entering. Near the
door, Doc is seeing to the man with the broke foot, who is laying on the floor.
Richardson is supervising. Jarry steps around them and goes to the desk.)
Hugo: A room, if I may, unexposed to the
gales which must blow through that hole above us.
EB: Mr.
George Hearst, who is now the hotel’s owner, put the hole in that wall.
Hugo: Enhancing not at all for me the
prospect of a room in the hole’s proximity.
Doc: Could
I get a wheelbarrow or the like?
EB: Yes,
Sir. Richardson! Wheelbarrow!
(Cut to the Chez Amie. Joanie is standing in the
street, looking into the window, waiting for someone to notice her. Martha
walks out.)
Martha: Miss
Stubbs?
Joanie: I
guess you’re near ready to take the children over. Or are you ready now? Do I
keep you from it?
Martha:
Oh, I’m, I’m taking the children in an hour’s time. Just now you give us happy
respite from our numbers.
Joanie:
Anyways, Mose says the man was a Norwegger from Wisconsin, built the building
around the tree so as to have sap on hand for syrup, which must taste like hell
for being burr oak, but…probably smells nice in a lamp.
Martha:
Does anyone know why he left?
Joanie: No
luck on that score. Far as that, we came up empty. It’s too bad.
Martha:
It’s freer rein for the children’s imaginations.
Joanie:
Fewer facts, I guess, to trample.
Martha: I
hope that you’ll walk with us, Miss Stubbs.
Joanie:
Oh…(she turns to leave as if to say no, then stops) Sure.
Martha:
Good. I’ll see you in an hour.
(Cut to the bank, there’s a long line of people
waiting at the teller’s window, Fields is talking to Alma)
Alma: I recognize, Mr. Fields, that in any foreseeable
future, Steve will not resume operations of the livery or pay on his note to
the bank. Be assured I am grateful for
the expedient care you have taken of the livery and its occupants, having no
obligation in this matter of any kind.
Fields: No
shadow ought be on Hostetler’s reputation, that sold to Steve, by me now taking
leave.
Alma: No reasonable person would cast one.
Fields: I
guess I can head out then, knowing the one in a 100 that is, won’t sully
Hostetler’s name. I got a life to live of my own.
Alma: As do all here in the camp.
Fields: (Turns
and heads for the door) Sorry to hold you all up.
(Cut to Merrick’s office, as the Pinkerton leader
enters.)
Leader: Jesus
Christ, whoever thought I’d come to write an article?
Merrick:
Have you a notice you wish circulated, Sir?
Leader: What?
Merrick:
By “Article” do you mean you have some notice you’d wish published?
Leader: By
“article” I mean a fucking article. (He
steps closer)
Merrick:
What would be your article’s subject?
Leader: You’re
a fat fucking bastard, ain’t ya?
Merrick: I
think we ought best continue our conversation Sir, when you’re not under the
influence of spirits.
Leader: Something
stupid looking about you.
Merrick: I
must insist you leave.
Leader: Fucking
irritating! How you look makes me
fucking embarrassed! (He pulls his cane
out of it’s sheath and swats Merrick across the face, Merrick gasps and falls
to his knees, Blazanov stands up.)
Merrick:
Oh dear.
Leader: “Oh
dear”!? (He starts punching Merrick repeatedly. Throwing him to the floor when he’s done.) Oh dear. (He grabs his walking
stick, heads to the door, smiling, turns to Blazanov.) You’d better come
help your friend.
Blazanov: (having
watched from a distance, he rushes over) Mr. Merrick, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!
(Cut to the Gem saloon, where Al is with Wu.)
MrWu: Swedgin,
Hearst, Heng Dai?
Al: We’re
the opposite of fucking Heng Dai! We’re
… bok gwai Lo, the two of us.
MrWu: Bok
gwai lo?
Al: Fuck
bok gwai lo! We’re not fucking heng
dai! We’re the opposite of fucking heng
dai. Now make your fucking point.
MrWu:
Yah! Swedgin! Hearst! Eek!
Al: Jesus
fucking Christ. (Wu taps on his sketch)
MrWu: `150
chung kuo cocksucka. Custer.
Al: He’s
dead, for Christ’s sake, Wu! Hey, how
about the canoe? Did you know that had
been fucking invented yet, huh?
MrWu:
Custer, chung kuo cocksucka, 150, Custer.
(Johnny studies the sketch)
Johnny:
Custer City? (Wu taps the sketch)
MrWu: Oh!
Custer City!
Johnny:
Wu’s holding his men outside Custer City.
MrWu: Huh.
Johnny: ‘Cause
you and Hearst are on the outs. (He looks up at Al, smiling and nodding. Al
suddenly punches Johnny in the face.
Dan smirks.)
Al: (goes
to the bar) Clever precautionary fucking thinking, Wu.
(Cut the freight office, where Jack is with Charlie
as Joanie approaches.)
Charlie: Miss
Stubbs.
Joanie:
Mr. Utter. Mr. Langrishe.
Jack: The blessed Miss Stubbs, whose bust is so very
prominent in the mind’s pantheon of the camp.
Joanie:
Some not 50 yards from us will put these of mine to shame.
Jack: As I’ve made to Mr. Utter a proposal, the
answer to which he must generate only in privacy and after meditation, if
you’ll excuse, I’ll take my leave.
Joanie:
Well, I will too.
Jack: No no no, Miss Stubbs. It is only I from whom
he must be sequestered. Your counsel may be invaluable. If you can cartwheel or
puff your cheeks like a fish…we have a festivity tonight. I’ll live in hope
you’ll attend. (He leaves)
Charlie:
There is a strange fucking bird. Some kind of, uh, amateur night he’s
organizing, connected with his theater. Some way I couldn’t fathom. A prelude,
he called it. Fuckin’ Jane ought to break out her bullwhip.
Joanie: I
nearly came to know for Mrs. Bullock to tell the children why that schoolhouse
has a tree growing through it.
Charlie:
The new one has a tree growing through it?
Joanie:
Who the man was, why he built around the tree instead of cutting it down. Mose
couldn’t find out where he got to.
Charlie:
Why does she need to know where the man got to for Mrs. Bullock to tell the
children about the tree?
Joanie: To
finish the story.
Charlie:
More than where the man got to once he was through, I’d think the story was of
the tree and the schoolhouse built around it.
(Joanie nods) I guess you’re
right, though. I, I guess children are
like that, wanting to know all the information. I guess that’s how they are. (She looks out into the street.) You got
something to send, Miss Stubbs?
Joanie: I
was just stopping by to say good morning.
(Charlie grins and nods.)
(Cut to the Gem, Silas and Hugo Jarry sit. Hugo pours
a drink as Dan and Johnny watch from the bar.)
Hugo: Friends become adversaries. Become now, I hope, friends again.
Silas: Doing any good for yourself?
Hugo: Oh, hard of late, Adams, doing that
in Yankton. That is something you would
be aware.
Silas: From what I read on the crapper.
Hugo: Washington harasses us for our difficulties in
distribution to the Indians, thereby distracting the nation at large from
Washington’s own fiscal turpitudes and miasms.
Silas: There amongst the turpitudes and miasms, you
got caught stealing the money.
Hugo: The
money was not stolen. There was an amount of siphoning off and certain
irregularlities.
Silas: Sounds like it was regular as milking Bessie,
96¢ on the dollar.
Hugo: Rank exaggeration.
Silas: If it was less than 90, you fucked generations of Indian Agents to
come.
Hugo: If saying so will let us go on,
then, yes, we stayed above 90.
Silas: And did you lay a few cents by?
Hugo: A few. Never enough. Your star here
is in ascension?
Silas: I’ve been keeping busy.
Hugo: Tell me how. Don’t delete a single detail.
Silas: That’s a pretty taut line, Mr. Jarry, not
knowing how deep your hook’s set yet.
Hugo: How deep would 500 set it, time
being of the fucking essence?
Silas: Hard to know till it’s inside my pocket.
Hugo: I’d
rather not produce it in this place.
Silas: Worse gets produced here pretty regular.
Hugo: Much
has been answered already. Little has fucking changed.
(Cut to Al’s room, where Doc is seeing to Merrick on
Al’s bed. Al and Blasanoz look on)
Merrick: Ugh,
it was nightmarish. Whatever cogent purpose the man may have had, his
drunkenness kept him from conveying, and yet I had the eerie sense he knew what
he was doing.
Al: Maybe not
so drunk as he seemed, huh?
(Merrick moans, Al steps out onto the balcony to see
the Earps driving their wagon back into town. The load they carry is nothing
more than a few pine saplings.)
(Cut to the hotel, where the Pinkerton leader is
reporting to Hearst)
Hearst: Details,
Sir. Did the newspaperman try to defend himself? Did he beg you to stop? Did he
cry out?
Leader: He said “Oh dear.” Was bleeding and curled up
like a baby. (Hearst laughs)
(Cut to Al’s room again, Doc is examining Merrick.)
Doc: I’m
guessing your bottom rib is cracked, and this contusion at your belly show the
colors of the rainbow before it’s through with you.
Merrick:
Apparently, my expiration is not imminent.
Doc:
‘Course, I’m wrong as much as I am right.
Merrick:
What purpose might the man have had, Al, in feigning drunkenness?
Al: Allow
you to penetrate the pretense? Teach fear while inflicting pain? You printed
any letters lately, Merrick, that some miserable cocksucker would send an
underling to punish you for? Hmm?
Merrick:
Bastard.
Blazanov:
I should be ashamed that I didn’t come to help. I’m so sorry, Mr. Merrick, my
dear friend.
Al: Oh,
cut it the fuck out, the both of you, unless you want to act to the
cocksucker’s purpose. (Blazanov reaches into his coat and pulls
out a telegram, holding it out to Al with some pride.)
Blazanov:
This came for the cocksucker, Mr. Swearengen. (Al reads it)
Al: Take
it to him.
Blazanov:
I’d like to punch him.
Al: Give
him the fucking telegram, and no punching.
(Blazanov leaves.)
Doc: Long
pulls on the laudanum as needed. (Sets a bottle on the night-stand)
Al: Check
out that sow Tina, Doc, when the opportunity presents. That ain’t the whiff of
roses when she passes. (Doc leaves.)
Merrick:
Ugh. Have I bled on your bed linens,
Al?
Al: You
wouldn’t be the first.
(Cut to an alley by the hardware store, the Earps are
unloading their saplings)
Morgan: Shit.
(Pinkerton’s gallop down the street, catching Seth’s
attention from inside the hardware store.
Sol readies his derringer.)
Seth:
Do yourself a favor, Sol. Stop thinking of that
derringer as a problem solver.
Trixie: It
solved several for me. (Seth smiles,
Wyatt walks up outside holding two saplings.)
Wyatt:
Free fucking kindling, if you have need for it.
Morgan:
Our timber lease ain’t nothing but pecker poles.
Man: (The Pinkerton who earlier harassed Morgan) Let’s see them blisters…Hiram. (Morgan
holds up a hand, smiles, turns, pulls his gun and shoots the man in the leg.)
Man:
Aw! Son of a…(The man falls)
Wyatt: Jesus
Christ, Morgan! (He hurries over to the
man and pulls the man’s gun from it’s holster, laying it on the ground next to
him.)
Seth: Stay inside. Stay in here. (Seth
approaches the Earps and the Pinkertons)
Man: Help
me.
Morgan: I
did, you motherless cunt, to bleed out in the fucking mud. (The
leader approaches, and Seth fires his gun into the air)
Seth: Stand away till I find out what happened here!
Wyatt:
That fight was fair.
Leader: Bullshit! Corey was under orders not to draw.
Seth: Man’s gun’s out of its holster.
Leader: Was
it you took it out after he was down?
Seth: Do you say I did? That saw me come from my store as you came down the boardwalk?
Leader: I
say someone did. Corey had orders not to draw.
(Seth grabs the leader by the ear
and drags him along.)
Seth: You’re fucking under arrest.
Leader: What
for?
Seth: For interfering with a fucking peace
officer. (To the Earps) Come with me for questioning.
Wyatt: All
right.
Morgan:
All right, Sheriff.
Seth: (to the leader as his men are moving) You
tell your men to interfere. Give me a reason to do what I want.
(Cut to Hearst’s room at the hotel as Blazanov
knocks.)
Blazanov: Cheyenne
and Black Hills Telegraph Company, Mr. Hearst.
Hearst:
Mr. Blazanov.
Blazanov:
Telegram for George Hearst. (Hearst
reaches for a coin) I decline your gratuity, Sir. Change in policy.
(Cut to the kitchen where Lou is teaching Richardson
how to cure a ham. Richardson is rubbing the ham with salt)
Lou: So
where you gonna take this, Richardson?
Richardson: To finish curing in the smokehouse.
Lou: How
long you gonna leave it in there?
Richardson: Three weeks.
Lou: How
you remember three weeks is up?
Richardson: The notch where I sleep. Beside the notches for my other hams.
Lou: You
getting the hang of this, Richardson. So next time I ain’t gonna asked you.
Only check did you make your notch.
Richardson: You’ll find it made, Aunt Lou. (Hearst
enters, Aunt Lou looks nervous)
Hearst:
Would you excuse us, Sir?
Richardson: Yes. (He
grabs the ham and leaves. Hearst
pauses.)
Hearst:
Odell is dead.
Lou:
Jesus, help me.
Hearst: They
found him near the road to Rapid City.
Lou: How
they sure it’s Odell?
Hearst:
The letters I gave him were still on his person, and his Bible bore his
name. (Aunt Lou starts to cry, Hearst tries to take her in his arms to
comfort her, she pushes him away.)
Lou: Get
away from ‘round me, Sir!
Hearst:
You don’t have to feign strength with me, Aunt Lou.
Lou: I
ain’t pretending shit! Get the hell
away from ‘round me, Sir! (She pushes him aside and runs away) Oh
God! Oh my God!
(Cut to a back alley, Mose has found Jane asleep on a
pile of bottles and junk.)
Jane: Get out of my fucking light.
Mose: It’s me.
Jane: Who is me?
The fucking eclipse?
Mose: Mose Manuel.
Jane: Oh, really?
I thought it … it was Giganto, the runaway circus elephant.
Mose: Miss Stubbs has been looking for
you. Those kids need chaperoning to the new schoolhouse, Jane. (Jane
turns away, and puts her hands to her
ears, shutting her eyes.)
Jane: I cannot hear you, nor can I see you any
longer. (Mose grabs her.)
Mose: You fucking drunken slob! (Jane
reacts with fear)
Jane: Oh! (He
stops and she stares seething at Mose, wide eyed.)
Mose: Get up and walk them kids.
Jane: Okay, Giganto!
Don’t tusk me to death with your tusks. (She steadies herself, sheathing her gun.) How long do I have to
assemble myself?
Mose: They’ll be ready to go in a few
minutes.
Jane: Shut up.
(Cut to the smokehouse, where Richardson and Lou are
embracing.)
Richardson: I’m sorry, Mama. I’m so sorry.
Lou: I
can’t take it. I can’t take it.
(Cut to the jail / freight office. Seth is seated
talking to the Earps while the Pinkerton leader is locked in the cell)
Seth: Who produced their weapon first?
Wyatt:
Said they come out the same time.
Morgan: We
drew as one.
Leader: That’s
a fucking lie.
Charlie:
Come here a second. (Leader looks at Charlie – Charlie punches
him through the cell bars.) Shut
up.
Seth: Are you as sure about your timber lease?
Wyatt:
What do you mean? (Leaning over, ready to sign his statement)
Seth: As that this
is truthful. Are you as sure that lease
ain’t worth fuck-all?
Morgan:
Absolutely fucking certain.
Seth: Then nothing holds you here. And arguing
against you staying is who this fuck-head works for, and the man you shot in
the fair fight. (Wyatt smiles a half-grin) Best you move on, taking your genius
brother with you.
Morgan:
Um…I ain’t showed myself to advantage here, Sheriff. I’m fully fucking aware.
(Cut to the street, we see Bellagarde walking in a
sandwich board, advertising amateur night. At the Chez Amie, Martha is mustering
the kids and lining them up for the march to the new school)
Martha: Line
up right there. Stop. Stop. You’re gonna stop right there. Right there, stop.
Okay, step this way right here. (Joanie
is there as Jane approaches unsteadily.)Okay, stop. Stand right here. (Jane crosses the
thoroughfare, joining Joanie.) Thank
you. You can carry that.
Jane: Stay close.
I might need you for support.
Boy: I
don’t want to hold her hand.
Martha:
You can lock arms instead. (whispering) Hey, okay, go ahead. Miss Stubbs?
(She motions to Joanie to lead the way. Holding
hands, she and Jane lead the procession to the new schoolhouse. People along the street stop and watch the
procession.)
(Cut to the
jail, where Johnny is arriving.)
Johnny: Sheriff? (Seth
stands)
Seth: Tell him I ain’t coming for his lecture. Tell
him I don’t need it. Tell him if my temper was gonna get the best of me, this
cocksucker’s brains would be on the floor. Tell him I got it. All right? Tell
him I’m on top of it.
(Johnny nods and leaves. Wyatt looks at Seth momentarily. Charlie steps to the door and
sees the procession of schoolchildren led by Joanie and Jane.)
Charlie: Sheriff. (Seth
steps to the door, standing next to Charlie. Charlie nods down the street at
the children, Seth follows his gaze.)
Seth: They’re finished, Charlie. (He leaves)
Charlie: I
got it.
Seth: I told Mrs. Bullock I’d walk with her.
Charlie:
Well, go ahead. Hello to Miss Stubbs.
(Alma comes out of the bank to watch the children,
Seth passes her, they nod to each other.
Seth joins Martha, she takes his arm and they walk. Sofia waves to Alma.
Alma waves back and smiles. The Earps watch from the jail. Al and Hearst both
watch from their balconies. Johnny motions to Al that Seth’s all right. The
parade moves along.)
( Cut to the street, it’s night now. A crowd is
gathering for amateur night. The soap guy is working the crowd.)
Soap Guy: Soap! Soap with a prize inside! Guaranteed prize in every case of soap! Soap!
Soap with a prize inside.
(Jack walks out onto a
small wooden stage in front of the theater and addresses the crowd)
Jack: Hello!
As we have in Chicago, Denver and San Francisco, the Langrishe Troupe
bids welcome to the Deadwood Camp! (The crowd applauds) Nights to come will
find us on the stage within. Our enactments may bring an odd tear to the eye,
and may be relied upon to produce guffaws and howls of laughter. This evening,
however, in memoriam of a passing colleague, whose jocund spirit hovers over
our gay fiesta, I will give you his favorite epithet. “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely
players.” Tonight, we will be the
audience to you. (Applause. We see a man standing in the crowd with a sigh that says:
“Can cry at will”)
(Cut to the hotel kitchen, Lou is cooking as Hearst
enters.)
Hearst: How
you feeling, Aunt Lou?
Lou: I’m
getting dinner ready.
Hearst:
Don’t. Isn’t right you serving supper
to strangers when you’re in such grief.
Lou: I
want to.
Hearst:
No. (Jarry is entering the dining room)
Hugo: Ahem.
Hearst:
Kitchen’s closed.
Hugo:
The sustenance I would take in any
case, Mr. Hearst, like a newly-hatched bird, would come, I would hope, from
your mouth. (Jarry makes a number if bird impressions, chirping and mimicking a
young bird looking for food from it’s parent. He looks quite ridiculous. Hearst
is stunned, and finally moves to ascend the stairs with Jarry following)
Hearst: Don’t follow so damn close. (Hugo pauses a moment then
follows. Aunt Lou continues to cry as she slices potatoes.)
Lou: (To herself) Kill you if I could, George Hearst.
(Cut to the street)
Jack: Sir!
Do you tumble! Do you have a
colleague! Tumble, Sir! Tumble away!
Soap Guy:
Soap with a prize inside! (The crowd cheers as the men called up on
stage play leap frog.)
Jack: Magnificent!
Well done! Bravo! A round of applause for our dueling
gymnastics! And again, who’s there next? Our pick of the week?! On you go, Sir.(He calls up a man with a pickaxe who
procedes to balance it on his chin.) Bravo! Bravo!
Bravo! Young lady, you’d raised
your hand. I have a sense you might
favor us with a song. (A blond lady is helped up onto the stage by
the Countess. We see Fields wheeling stuperous Steve over to “watch” the show.)
Lady: Jesus loves me. This I know. (she sings the bible song) I know that the hand…
Hoople: (This
is the crazy ex-soldier who in Season 1 was talking about eating his mare. He
is talking to the man with the crying sign) When my dad died, I didn’t even
cry. Here you are, I’ll give you a dollar. You cry right for him right now.
Jack: Oh!
Look at this! Look! (We
see a man balancing a plank on his chin.
The lady continues to sing.)
Man: (A
drunk hoople jumps onto the stage and grabs the singing lady) That is the
best fucking thing I have ever heard in my life. (He tries to kiss her.)
Jack: Indeed it is, Sir!
Lady: Get off me, Sir!
Jack: Thank you, young lady, Thank you!
(We see the entire camp is out to watch the show.)
Hoople: (Addressing the crying man who is supposed to be
crying for his dead father) Hell,
it’s easy for you. You didn’t know the cocksucker.
(Cut to the jail, where Seth and Charlie are
releasing the Pinkerton leader.)
Leader: What’s
the upshot?
Seth: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Leader: I
was arrested, I was locked up. What’s
the upshot? (Seth tugs his nose, Charlie gives the leader back his gunbelt.)
Charlie:
Go and sin no more. (leader leaves)
Seth: Go
ahead, Charlie.
Charlie:
Where?
Seth: Go ahead to the fucking amateur night.
Charlie:
You don’t mind? All right. I believe
I’ll attend badgeless, Lest I put a
damper on stupidities. (laughs)
(Cut to Alma’s house as she is brushing Sophia’s hair
and pretending to look behind Sophia’s ears.)
Alma: Hmm. (gasps)
(Sofia turns around) Hmm. (She
reaches out to Sofia’s ear and produces a gold coin.)
Sofia: Grandpa’s trick!
Alma: It is, yes. And we oughtn’t to let that spoil
it for us.
(Cut to the show where a man is doing rope tricks.)